The diagram illustrates how to manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram illustrates how to manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The diagram illustrates
how
Rephrase
apply
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to manufacturing process for making
sugar
from
sugar
cane. It’s crystal clear that the
sugar
is produced from
sugar
cane. In the first photo we can clearly see that
,
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apply
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there is a growing
sugar
canes
Change the noun form
cane
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, the
sugar
canes
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cane
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grows
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grow
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between 12 – 18 months Taking a closer look at the second photo, they can
herves
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have
it
by
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in
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two ways. The first one is they will use a tractor and the second one is they can do it by their selves to take them off. When they did it they ought to use a crushing machine
fort he
Correct your spelling
for the
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juice of the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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than
they
Correct your spelling
then
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prufiying
Correct your spelling
purifying
the juice with the limestone filter. After
all
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all,
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they heal the juice to become a syrup so they use
a
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an
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evaporator. In the 6th
photo
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photo,
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the centrifuge separates the
sugar
crystals to make a syrup. Taking everything into
a
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apply
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account they
drying
Wrong verb form
dry
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and
cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
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the
sugar
to make
a
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apply
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syrup.
Correct your spelling
After
Afrer
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After
a
while
they
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finally
finially
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finally
did
Verb problem
made
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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sugar
from the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
Submitted by haticecoza on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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