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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows how the australian bureau of meterology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a University lecturer describing information shown below.

The diagram below shows how the australian bureau of meterology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a University lecturer describing information shown below.
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The provided flowchart depicts the process of gathering real-time data by the meteorology department of Australia
,
Remove the comma
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It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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 so that accurate weather predictions are produced.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the working of the forecasting system involves four important processes encompassing various elements at each step, all of which work together to provide reliable weather updates to
the
Correct article usage
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Australian citizens.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, incoming signals from the radar, satellite and drifting buoy
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 collected.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the analysis of data received from these sources is done in the
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 step i.e. analysis and forecasting which comprises evaluating the satellite pictures taken from the satellites, analysing the radar screen and reading the synoptic chart.
Next,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

all of these are processed and prepared in the third step which is preparing and broadcasting
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 information by using a computer system.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the weather forecast is broadcasted using various modes
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as TVs, radios and recorded announcements. After all of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is done the listeners and the viewers can get authentic meteorological
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts

It seems that forecast may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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