It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this issue?

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Recently, the number of

people

Use synonyms

who suffer from depression is increasing and it is obvious that individuals get much

pressure

Use synonyms

and stress.

This

Linking Words

essay explains that the public gets stressed because of excessive

work

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which doesn'

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ensure leisure time

Change preposition

for

show examples

workers and competition among

students

Use synonyms

and

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

generation.

In addition

Linking Words

, It will answer about how to solve these problems. The problems can be solved by changing

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

environment and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

a law for youth. To commence with, nowadays economy plays a crucial role in society.

People

Use synonyms

are trying to get enough money to maintain their lives.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there is a cognition that

wealthy

Correct article usage

a wealthy

show examples

person is successful and achieving

own's

Change noun form

own

show examples

field is significant. These made

people

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

do excessive

work

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, company workers who

work

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for SAMSUNG or APPLE do overtime

work

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and even they don'

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have weekends or holidays.

In addition

Linking Words

, competition among

people

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

too high.

Students

Use synonyms

are suffer

Change the verb form

are suffering

show examples

from

obsession

Add an article

an obsession

show examples

with

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

, and young

people

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are afraid of unemployed. To solve these problems, companies and

Use synonyms

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

should engage to try to make a better world. Companies must give enough leisure time to rest to workers.

For example

Linking Words

, many European countries started

Correct article usage

a sytem

show examples

sytem

Correct your spelling

system

which allows

work

Use synonyms

four days a week

instead

Linking Words

of five days. It resulted in not only improvement of

work

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efficency

Correct your spelling

efficiency

but

also

Linking Words

lower

Add an article

a lower

show examples

rate of

pressure

Use synonyms

and stress.

In addition

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

have to fix

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

system which can make

students

Use synonyms

feel less

pressure

Use synonyms

start

Correct word choice

and start

show examples

new

bussinesses

Correct your spelling

businesses

which can help

unemployment

Replace the word

unemployed

show examples

youth. In conclusion, the

pressure

Use synonyms

and stress is originated from excessive worktime

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and too much competition. So that, it can be

adressed

Correct your spelling

addressed

by changing company culture and the

government

Use synonyms

systems. Companies should use the policy to ensure free time,

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should try to help

students

Use synonyms

don'

Verb problem

not

show examples

Use synonyms

feel stressed about their accomplishments, and young

people

Use synonyms

don'

Verb problem

should not

show examples

Use synonyms

feel afraid of unemployment.

soyuyu9Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement that outlines the points you will discuss in your essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific reasons and examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Add a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and offers potential solutions.

grammatical range and accuracy

Use more varied sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

305 words

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It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Enhance future lifestyle is this a negative or positive development?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?