IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company. Why might this case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #case
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In
this
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 era, having own business is a favourite way for many
people
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 to be a main occupation, compared with working as an officer in a company. In
this
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 essay, I will shed light on the causes and
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks of these issues. First of all, many
people
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 decided to work their own business because it is more convenient. Not all
people
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 are more likely to work behind seniority that exists in a company. Seniority makes them uncomfortable to finish the task and harder to improve the career path. Especially when seniors ask to do another job,
such
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 as making coffee, buying lunch, or making a photocopy.
Moreover
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, working in a company has strict time which is not flexible. For some
people
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 that are more energetic at night, would be tough to follow the regular working hours.
That is
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 why, many individuals prioritize being self-employed over working for a corporation.
However
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, being self-employed
also
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 has some cons despite many
people
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 choosing it.
Firstly
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, being self-employed must have a lot of savings, because we do not always obtain a fixed salary every month. Sometimes we would receive higher income in one month, but nothing in the next month. Take web designer artists
for instance
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, they will get an order for one client with offers of ten billion but the process takes almost three months.
After
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this
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 order, they might not get clients straight away.
Secondly
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, being self-employed means that we spend more hours working because we should handle all tasks by ourselves.
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introduction conclusion present
You need to ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction must set the stage for the discussion, while the conclusion must neatly summarise your key points without introducing new information.
logical structure
Your essay should have a more logical structure. Each paragraph should address a single main idea and transition smoothly to the next, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices linking them.
complete response
To achieve a higher score for task achievement, make sure your response is complete and all parts of the question are addressed sufficiently. The disadvantages of being self-employed could be further expanded upon to reinforce your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
To provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas, elaborate on the reasons and disadvantages you mention by giving more detailed explanations, and attempt to explore greater depth in your argumentation.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows the ability to apply your ideas to real-life situations, which is a critical aspect of the task achievement criterion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • work-life balance
  • constraints
  • traditional job
  • steady income
  • responsibility
  • expertise
  • establishing
  • isolation
  • support network
What to do next:
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