Many people fail to achive a balance between work and the other part of live. what causes the situation how to overcome the problems

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Most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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in society have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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faced
to
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apply
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more difficulties
for maintain
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in maintaining
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balance
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a balance
the balance
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between
work
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and personal
life
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due to
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lack
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time
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of time
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and
over
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overwork
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work
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in
spare
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their spare
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time
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to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
economic deformities of their families ,
howewer
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however
people
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may make free
time
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to spend with families and friends joining entertainments apart from green posture might be a good solution for
allmost
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almost
all problems. when
people
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have
target
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a target
show examples
to
achived
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achieve
achieved
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money
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during their
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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time
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, it may be a bad
habbit
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habit
and destroy all happiness in
life
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. humans need
money
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to spend
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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life
Use synonyms
, but
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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more
money
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had restricted
Wrong verb form
restricts
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our freedom , happiness, well
being
Verb problem
well-being
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and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
almost our stress.
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
mind and
over
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overwork
show examples
work
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had dropped our balance of
life
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, happiness and health. Even if,
people
Use synonyms
may have expanded knowledge and
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
to well maintain
everythings
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everything
under
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
control of them, if they have realized
about
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apply
show examples
their own needs and how to spend
money
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with some restrictions, it may help them to overcome
of
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apply
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this
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issue.
People
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spend
time
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with
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apply
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happy and use
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
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for entertainment
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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released energetic
hormons
Correct your spelling
hormones
by
brain
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the brain
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,
then
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naturaly
Correct your spelling
naturally
people
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tend to
did
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do
show examples
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
with energy and
happy
Replace the word
happiness
show examples
. For
instant
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instance
show examples
, one of my friends had participated outdoor music event with his family
in
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on
show examples
small
Add an article
the small
a small
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break ,
while
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doing considerable
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in
office
Add an article
an office
the office
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and other members
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
full attention only
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
Use synonyms
fogetting personal
life
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,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
my friend had completed his
work
Use synonyms
successfully than others.
Finally
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,if
people
Use synonyms
have faced more issues
such
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as economic , social,
family
Correct word choice
and family
show examples
problems
due to
Linking Words
fail
Replace the word
failure
show examples
to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
balance between
work
Use synonyms
and the other parts, when
people
Use synonyms
may
managed
Change the verb form
manage
show examples
their
money
Use synonyms
and
time
Use synonyms
in
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
show examples
way
according to
Linking Words
their needs, they are able to overcome
Linking Words
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
true good efforts.
Submitted by shanikaabesingha on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly address both the causes and solutions in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization and coherence of the essay by using clear paragraphs with topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Use appropriate grammar and sentence structure throughout the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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