Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressure #perspective #pressures #measures

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In current times,

youngesters

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youngsters

feel more

challeging

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challenging

from study, family and

work related

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work-related

show examples

pressure which creates lots of detrimental effects in their life. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will list down

cause

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causes

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and give some solutions to tackle

this

Linking Words

situation with some relative examples. To commence with, students

faces

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face

show examples

various

problmes

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problems

due to

Linking Words

academics

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academic

show examples

, social and commercial.

Firstly

Linking Words

, from their parents and

teachers

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teachers'

teacher's

show examples

site, they expect

from

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apply

show examples

youngesters

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youngsters

to achieve first class in their class

hence

Linking Words

children feel more

unsecure

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insecure

and

pressure

Wrong verb form

pressured

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, every

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

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to receive good grades in school from their

children

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children's

show examples

site.

Secondly

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, sometimes students have

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

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in any other extra activities

such

Linking Words

as sports, art, music and many more and they want to build their career in

Linking Words

this type

Fix the agreement mistake

these types

show examples

of fields but

due to

Linking Words

the high pressure from their family

site

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site,

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they do not achieve their ambition.

Lastly

Linking Words

from

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show examples

their work

life

Add a comma

life,

show examples

they

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

lots of work and

unbalanced

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an unbalanced

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life

therefore

Linking Words

they do not find

comfort

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a comfort

show examples

zone.

Furthermore

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, there are some solutions to overcome

this

Linking Words

type of hurdles in

childrens

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children's

show examples

lives. family should provide guidance and knowledge to their children to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

successful

student

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students

show examples

and

employee

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employees

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, companies should provide

Add an article

a more

show examples

flexible environment to new employee because after

completed

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completing

show examples

their academics they want to

Add a missing verb

have more

show examples

secure and flexible lives in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

. Meanwhile,

from

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apply

show examples

elder people should teach

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

to how to behave with other

citizes

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citizens

cities

. To give an

overveiw

Correct your spelling

overview

, there are several factors

such

Linking Words

as commercial, social and

academics

Fix the agreement mistake

academic

show examples

effect

Replace the word

affect

show examples

childresn

Correct your spelling

children

children's

lives.

However

Linking Words

, parents and other people should take care

and

Change preposition

of and

show examples

provide better

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and placement to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young human beings.

Submitted by er.lerulal on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on the causes of pressure and provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main points are supported with sufficient explanations and examples. Provide more explanation on how the proposed measures can reduce pressure.

coherence cohesion

Expand the introduction and conclusion to provide a better overview and closing of the essay.

lexical resource

Use more precise and accurate vocabulary to enhance the essay's lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to the grammatical errors and improve your sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic competition
globalized economy
rigorous testing
social media
peer pressure
comparisons
aggressive marketing tactics
culture of consumerism
parental expectations
standardized testing
holistic approaches
life skills
creative subjects
digital literacy
critical thinking
social media pressures
supportive environments
regulating advertising
consumerism
material possessions
values of contentment and self-worth
open channels of communication
mental health education
readily available resources

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Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way of getting job. On the other hand, other people think that getting expericne and skills is more important. Disucss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.