Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Some former prisoners change and become respectable and honest members of the community. There is a common point of view that these individuals are the most appropriate

people

Use synonyms

to talk to youngsters about the consequences of criminal behaviour. I agree with

this

Linking Words

perception

because

Punctuation problem

because,

show examples

firstly

Linking Words

, in prison, these individuals have known

people

Use synonyms

guilty of atrocities and have seen how they ended, so they can explain very well the repercussions.

Secondly

Linking Words

, after being

lockup

Wrong verb form

locked up

show examples

and given

thoughts

Check wording

time

show examples

their

Verb problem

reflect on their

show examples

actions, they should be able to explain that most

people

Use synonyms

end up regretting them and feeling bad with them selfs.

Body paragraph 1

The first point is that in prison, these individuals have probably known somebody guilty of crimes and seen how they ended. They have talked to many with different pasts and see how they all ended up in the same situation, in jail. Because of that, they are ideal citizens to explain that committing felonies is very dangerous for your future.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a former prisoner has met somebody who ended up in jail because he drove drunk and killed someone in an accident, he can well explain after that the terrible consequences of the actions we

Verb problem

take

show examples

without thinking.

Body paragraph 2

The second point is that their experience in confinement can help them show that many

people

Use synonyms

ended up feeling guilty. Indeed, the former prisoners have had the wonderful opportunity to think about their deeds and go back on the right path.

In addition

Linking Words

, talking to other prisoners has helped them even more to understand that many misdeeds are committed by mistake. With all

this

Linking Words

experience, they are the perfect citizens to explain the results and consequences of committing a crime.

For example

Linking Words

, someone who has robbed a supermarket for fun with his friend and is now in jail for one year is a good person to explain how to avoid actions that you later regret.

Conclusion

To conclude

Linking Words

, I agree that after prison, some become good citizens and are the perfect

persons

Check wording

people

show examples

to talk about the dangers of committing a crime

due to

Linking Words

their experience and knowledge.

santos_dij

Oct 7, 2023

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Task response

State your view in a more exact way. You agree that former prisoners can be very good speakers, but not always the best people. Say that this depends on whether they have truly changed and can speak in a safe, honest way.

Task response

Develop each main idea further. Explain clearly how a real story may change a young person's choices, and why young people may listen more to someone who has made the same bad choice.

Task response

Some ideas are too broad. For example, not all crimes are done by mistake, and prison is not always a “wonderful opportunity”. Use more careful words, such as “some”, “may”, and “can”.

Task response

Your examples fit the topic, but make each one more direct. After the example, add one sentence that shows exactly what lesson teenagers can learn from it.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make the first sentence of each body part state one clear reason before you give details.

Coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more naturally. You repeat “Because of that”, “Indeed”, and “In addition”. Try simple links such as “As a result”, “Also”, “For this reason”, and “This means that”.

Coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because the word choice is not clear. For example, change “They have talked to many with different pasts” to “They have spoken to people with different pasts”.

Coherence and cohesion

Avoid repeating the same point about “results and consequences”. Give each body part a different focus: one on real knowledge of prison and crime, and one on regret and changing one’s life.

Task response

You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the start to the end.

Task response

You use two relevant reasons and include examples about drink driving and theft.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay is easy to follow because it has clear body parts and a conclusion.

Coherence and cohesion

Paragraphs stay mostly focused on one main idea, which helps the reader follow your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people are optimistic about the 21st century and expect scientists to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with their optimism? What changes do you like to see in your new century?

the rise of platforms like YouTube and Instagram has led many young people to spend a significant amount of time online, sometimes at the expense of their academic responsibilities. What are the consequences and solutions?

In an era of globalisation, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job, while others believe that other options are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.