Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some believe that those who have been in prison before are in a great position to educate children about the risks of criminal behaviour. I strongly agree with

this

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idea , since the personal experience of the ex-criminals makes their message more credible , understandable and impactful, and they can be powerful role models for a change.

Firstly

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, former prisoners can give relevant insights into the consequences of crime. Unlike our teachers or authority figures , who probably speak only in theory, these individuals have experienced directly the negative effects of criminality,

such

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as giving up on their freedom, broken relationships with family or friends, and very limited options for future opportunities.

As a result

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, children are more likely to listen carefully , relate and have sympathy for their stories.

For example

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, a young person hearing an account of prison conditions and how it destroys individuals may understand better the seriousness of crime than through frequent warnings in school.

Secondly

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, former offenders who have rebuilt their lives can be an inspiring example of positive personal transformation. Their stories prove that it is possible to change ways and build a future , getting over previous mistakes.

This

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is highly motivating for teenagers who feel lost or are under a bad influence .

For instance

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, an old criminal who now contributes positively to society can show young people that by making the right choices , it is possible to find a truly stable and happy life.

To conclude

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, I entirely agree that reformed prisoners are clearly among the most effective people to educate about crime and its consequences , as their experiences are both convincing and inspirational, helping to prevent younger generations from making harmful decisions.

santos_dij

Oct 7, 2023

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task response

For task response, your answer is clear and stays on the topic all the way. To get a higher score, you can also add one short other side point, then show why you still agree.

task response

Your main ideas are easy to understand, but some examples are a bit general. Try to give one more clear and real example in each body part.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear plan: start, two body parts, and end. This is strong.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking words are good, but a few spaces and comma use are not natural. Keep your sentences neat and join ideas in a smoother way.

coherence and cohesion

A few sentences are a little long or heavy. You can make them shorter so each point is even easier to follow.

task response

You answer the question directly and clearly say that you strongly agree.

task response

Your two main points are relevant and well matched to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well organized with clear paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion repeats your main view well and closes the essay clearly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Newspapers are the best method for reading the news. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Governments are often blamed for spending too much money on projects to protect wildlife while ignoring other problems. Some people believe that governments must prioritize the needs of their citizens above all else. To what extent do you agree?