IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that individuals who have served time in prison and later become good citizens are the best people to educate
teenagers
Use synonyms
 about the dangers of committing crimes. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective to a considerable extent. These individuals possess firsthand experiences and can provide authentic insights that go beyond theoretical knowledge. Former prisoners have lived through the consequences of crime and incarceration. Their personal stories can be compelling and serve as powerful deterrents for
teenagers
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 who might be considering unlawful
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. They can speak candidly about the harsh realities of prison life, the loss of freedom, and the long-term effects on their personal and professional lives.
Moreover
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, these reformed individuals often become role models, demonstrating that it is possible to turn one's life around. Their success stories can inspire
teenagers
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 to make better choices and strive for a positive future. They offer a unique combination of credibility and relatability that other authority figures might lack.
However
Linking Words
, it is essential to approach
this
Linking Words
 strategy with caution. Not all former prisoners may be suitable for
such
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 roles, and it is crucial to ensure they have genuinely reformed and are capable of delivering productive messages.
Overall
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,
while
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 not the only solution, reformed prisoners can play a significant role in crime prevention education for
teenagers
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.

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task achievement
When supporting your argument, consider adding specific examples or statistics related to former prisoners making successful changes in life, which can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are smoothly connected to maintain the logical flow of the essay. More explicit linking sentences could be beneficial.
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with a clear introduction and statement of opinion which provides a strong foundation for the arguments.
logical structure
The structure is logical with relevant points developed in a clear sequence. Arguments are both credible and well-articulated.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument presented, reinforcing the writer's opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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