An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they are older both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

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In the modern world, the rate of childhood obesity has increased significantly so that, they confront considerable health difficulties and healthcare costs when they grow up. The major reasons for that are the modern
education
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system and the modern dietary pattern.
However
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, they could be solved by viable
solutions
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.
Hence
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, in
this
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essay, I will explore reasons for childhood obesity and the perfect
solutions
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for that. First of all, the sophisticated
education
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system contributes to increasing schoolchildren's fatness. Since the modern school curriculum depends on state-of-the-art technological devices
such
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as cutting-edge laptops and smartphones, they are addicted to them and they always spend time in front of the digital screen.
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, their physical activities
such
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as engaging in
sports
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have decreased considerably and they may have a sedentary lifestyle.
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, their weight will rise gradually.
For example
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, students who live in Western countries are extremely fat because they study with new technology at their schools and homes.
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, unhealthy eating habits drive
this
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excessive weight gain of a new generation since they consume fast foods which are high in calories and unsaturated fats immensely.
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, the cholesterol levels of blood circulation will be enhanced and it causes fatness in the young population.
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, there are viable
solutions
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to
this
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crisis.
Firstly
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,
sports
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and physical activities should be introduced as main subjects in the school syllabus.
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, they may engage in those
sports
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and will realize the importance of physical stamina.
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, they may lead to an active life.
Secondly
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, teaching the disadvantages of unhealthy meals and restricting them is paramount to reducing becoming overweight. They should be provided nutritious cuisines that are supported to boost physical fitness.
For instance
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, traditional foods
such
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as junk fruit curry, hoppers, and string hoppers should be introduced to the school canteens
instead
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of fried rice,
donuts
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doughnuts
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, etc. In conclusion, the new
education
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system and unhealthy eating habits are key to becoming overweight.
However
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, introducing
sports
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as a major portion of the
education
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syllabus and introducing nutritious cuisine to students are excellent possible
solutions
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to prevent
this
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problem.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure proper paragraphing with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the subject and focus.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively but avoid overusing them, as it can make the text feel mechanical.
task achievement
Develop the main points fully with specific examples and explanations rather than making general statements.
task achievement
Try to provide innovative and less commonly known solutions to tackle the problem for a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of points and aim to show progression in the argument or narrative throughout the essay.
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