Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
There is a debate that many
people
think that tourism
revenue
can destroy culture
. However
, others belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
tourism
is protecting culture
. I will discuss both of those views in this
essay.
On the one hand, tuorism
has some negative effects on Correct your spelling
tourism
culture
. A lot of tourist
have poor consciousness when they visit or exposure some Change to a plural noun
tourists
culture
, they do not respect or careful
with them. Add a missing verb
be careful
For example
, some people
travel to historical monuments, some
of them usually litter around that Correct word choice
and some
place
even
draw Correct word choice
and even
somthing
in those structures. Another point I want to mention Correct your spelling
something
that
Add a missing verb
is that
some
Correct determiner usage
the
culture
of some place
can be changed when so Fix the agreement mistake
places
much tourist
bring Fix the agreement mistake
many tourists
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
culture
in
their Change preposition
from
place
to other
Fix the agreement mistake
another places
place
. It maybe is
the food, clothes or Wrong verb form
may be
festival
in those Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
place
.
Fix the agreement mistake
places
On the other hand
, people
must agree that tourism
revenue
is very important for culture
can be
exist. Verb problem
to
Firstly
, the money from it can help culture
to remain, because that money can use
to maintain and improve them. Wrong verb form
be used
Moreover
, that money can make people
from other
Change the wording
another place
other places
place
to know about them and come to explore them through the advertiment
. Correct your spelling
advertisement
For example
, a lot of tuorism
around the world can not be more famous and better if Correct your spelling
tourism
people
do not know about them through the Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertiment
like
Roman Colosseum, Great Wall or Eiffel Tower.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
advertisements
tourism
revenue
perchane
Correct your spelling
perchance
purchase
have
some negative effects on Correct subject-verb agreement
has
culture
. However
, people
must admit that many culture
can not be maintained without them, so Change to a plural noun
cultures
tourism
revenue
has an important role in culture
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coherence cohesion
Provide a more concise and clear introduction and conclusion. These sections should summarize your main points.
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Expand on your ideas and provide more examples and evidence to support your arguments.
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Use more varied vocabulary and try to express your ideas more precisely.
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.