Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

There is a debate that many
people
think that
tourism
revenue
can destroy
culture
.
However
, others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
tourism
is protecting
culture
. I will discuss both of those views in
this
essay. On the one hand,
tuorism
Correct your spelling
tourism
has some negative effects on
culture
. A lot of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
have poor consciousness when they visit or exposure some
culture
, they do not respect or
careful
Add a missing verb
be careful
show examples
with them.
For example
, some
people
travel to historical monuments,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
of them usually litter around that
place
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
draw
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
in those structures. Another point I want to mention
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
culture
of some
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
can be changed when so
much tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
many tourists
show examples
bring
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
culture
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
their
place
to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another places
show examples
place
. It
maybe is
Wrong verb form
may be
show examples
the food, clothes or
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
in those
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
people
must agree that
tourism
revenue
is very important for
culture
can be
Verb problem
to
show examples
exist.
Firstly
, the money from it can help
culture
to remain, because that money can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
to maintain and improve them.
Moreover
, that money can make
people
from
other
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
place
to know about them and come to explore them through the
advertiment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
.
For example
, a lot of
tuorism
Correct your spelling
tourism
around the world can not be more famous and better if
people
do not know about them through the
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertiment
Correct your spelling
advertisements
like Roman Colosseum, Great Wall or Eiffel Tower. In conclusion,
tourism
revenue
perchane
Correct your spelling
perchance
purchase
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some negative effects on
culture
.
However
,
people
must admit that many
culture
Change to a plural noun
cultures
show examples
can not be maintained without them, so
tourism
revenue
has an important role in
culture
.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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