It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In some
life
situations, it necessary
for Add a missing verb
is necessary
the
individuals to take some Correct article usage
apply
risks
for
their decisions, Change preposition
in
for example
, changing jobs and investing money
. This
essay will discuss about
how essential to take some Remove the preposition
apply
risks
in life
for both of
working and private Change preposition
apply
life
and describe that stepping out of your comfort zone by taking some risks
has benefits over drawbacks.
In workplace
, Add an article
the workplace
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who works
in Change the verb form
work
company
for a long time usually earn Add an article
the company
lower
income than Add an article
a lower
people
who change their job
in
every 2-3 years. Change preposition
apply
Although
the people
who frequently switch their job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
having
the risk Wrong verb form
have
about
their new Change preposition
that
job
may worse
than their current Add a missing verb
be worse
job
, they normally get higher
salary around 30% from their new Correct article usage
a higher
job
. Additionally
, unless people
dare to switch their job
, they will not have Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
opportunity
to do new things that they want to try. Even though, in employment Correct article usage
the opportunity
life
, switching the
Correct article usage
apply
job
has the risk Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
to face
with bad boss and Change preposition
of facing
fail for
probation, I believe that the advantages of taking Wrong verb form
failing
risks
in working life
will far
more significant than Add a missing verb
be far
disadvantages
.
In Correct article usage
the disadvantages
term
of personal Fix the agreement mistake
terms
life
, financial well-being which is one of the most important things of our life
is related to investment and financial management. Generally, we need to take some risks
by investing in riskier assets in order to generate higher return
or more profit Fix the agreement mistake
returns
to
our investment portfolio, Change preposition
for
refer
to investment theory which is “High risk, high return”. Wrong verb form
referring
However
, the chance to get loss
is Replace the word
lost
also
higher follow
the Replace the word
following
risks
. Moreover
, sometimes we need to allow other people
, for
example
financial experts, to manage our Add the comma(s)
example,
money
because we not
have enough time to manage by ourselves. Change the verb form
do not
did not
Although
we have possibility
to Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
loss
our Replace the word
lose
money
because of giving our authority to manage our money
to other people
, most of the financial experts are
manage your Unnecessary verb
apply
money
wisely.
In conclusion, taking some risks
will lead to have
higher income, more Unnecessary verb
apply
opportunity
and higher Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
return
. Though taking some Fix the agreement mistake
returns
risks
by changing jobs have
Wrong verb form
having
chance
to face Correct article usage
a chance
with
unexpected Change preposition
apply
situation
and investing in riskier assets can be Fix the agreement mistake
situations
loss
, I believe that the benefits Add an article
a loss
are outweighed
Wrong verb form
outweigh
drawbacks
.Correct article usage
the drawbacks
Submitted by nattaporn.vibha on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of your essay is clear and follows a coherent progression.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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