In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

#cities #people #neighbors #sense #community #measures

Although

living in the city sounds like a good idea for being in the city centre with lots of places to visit.

However

, it has many drawbacks including the disconnection from your neighbors and the loss of the society identity.

Thus

, I shall be discussing the leading causes and how to overcome them.

Initially

, popular cities

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

known to be the dream of the youth to live in, especially with the growing job opportunities , the feasibility of reaching any governmental facilities and many tourist

sightseeings

Fix the agreement mistake

sightseeing

show examples

Consequently

, all of these factors played a pivotal role in changing the lifestyle in the city where most of the residents are in a rush and living their lives on the edge and

this

is because of many factors; the accommodates at the centre are usually young ones and singles so they don't have the family mindset where they get to know your building partners.

Moreover

, most of them are overwhelmed building their career path and don't have the luxury of space to catch up with other residents.

Accordingly

, I believe that we can enhance the above outcomes by many actions like; building the society and

this

can be achieved by having

further

activities available at the same building or compound as

gym

Correct article usage

a gym

show examples

or pool where the ones living at the building can meet each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

and enhance their connectivity.

Furthermore

, working on improving the work-life balance by having reasonable working hours which would eventually

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

facilitate for the employees to have some personal time. In conclusion, glamorous cities are a dream for career seekers and the youth and with their high-speed lifestyle they don't have the time to meet up and build a neighborhood.

Thus

, we should work on providing the time needed by improving their working day and bringing the company to their doorstep

through

Change preposition

show examples

having the facilities needed at their residence.

Submitted by passent_abdelaziz on Sun Oct 08 2023

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Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.

coherence cohesion

Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Fully explain your ideas

48.Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this cause and what solutions can you suggest?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views.