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Band 4

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or diasgree.

#exploration #development #alternatives #fuels #priority #diasgree
Fossil
Correct article usage
The fossil
show examples
 fuels problem is a global
issue
,
hence
 the search for
finding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a suitable substitute for these
energy
 types shall be on top of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 important topics.
While
 there are several crucial matters going on in the
world
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and, in a broader sense, environmental degradation have
remain
Change the verb form
remained
show examples
 the vital issues of today's
world
. Unfortunately, a reliable alternative source of affordable
energy
 has not been found in the past 50 years and the expedition to find one is an ongoing matter. Global warming deniers claim that the hype around the
issue
 is a kind of
over-reacting
Correct your spelling
overreacting
show examples
 and the
world
 has passed courses of warming and ice-ages.
This
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
, unfortunately, leads to negligence of the deteriorating effects of using fossil fuels, like petroleum. It is crucial to address the
issue
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we are reaching a point where the Earth gets inhabitable for humans and other species.
Also
,
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
, as the main source of the Earth's
energy
, provides a large amount of
energy
 on a daily basis waiting for us to harvest. In
this
 regard, it takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 intelligence to find cheap and scalable solutions for preventing more warming.
On the other hand
, a group of people may argue that the top priority of our
world
 is "Human Rights", and it is not totally wrong. Wars and humanitarian
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
 around the globe have caused
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
immense damage to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity. Despite
this
 fact, sustainability in
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 sector helps the humanitarian issues, too. Affordable and reliable sources of
energy
 provide the under-developed parts of the
world
 with the luxury of accessing the Internet, on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, and the capability to develop industrial sections, on the other. Not only does the "alternative
energy
" help those regions with the development,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 is essential to mention that many under-developed parts of the
world
 have hot and arid
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
, and they are more prone to global warming.
Overall
, I totally agree that the
top
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most important
issue
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
world
 is finding a reliable source of
energy
, because
first,
the Earth is reaching a no-return point for human habitation, and
second,
a green
energy
 system helps the poorer
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 to enhance their citizens' lives.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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