Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities foremployees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #businesses #sports #facilities #foremployees #person’s #health #responsibility #company’s

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In recent years, there has been an increasing focus on

employee

Use synonyms

health

Use synonyms

and well-being in the workplace.

This

Linking Words

has led to a debate regarding whether

businesses

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should provide

sports

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facilities

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for their

employees

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or if individuals should take

responsibility

Use synonyms

for their own

health

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, those in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

businesses

Use synonyms

providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

argue that it can have several benefits.

Firstly

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, it promotes a healthy lifestyle among

employees

Use synonyms

, which can have positive impacts on their physical and mental well-being. Regular exercise not only improves physical fitness but

also

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reduces stress levels, increases concentration, and boosts

overall

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productivity.

Secondly

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, providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

can create a sense of camaraderie and team spirit among

employees

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. Engaging in collective physical activities,

such

Linking Words

as team

sports

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, can strengthen interpersonal relationships and foster a healthy work environment.

Lastly

Linking Words

, it can be seen as an

employee

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benefit, enhancing job satisfaction and attracting top talent to the company.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, opponents argue that an individual’s

health

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is their own

responsibility

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, not a company’s problem. They believe that

businesses

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should focus solely on their core function, which is to ensure the profitability and success of the company. In

this

Linking Words

view,

employees

Use synonyms

should take ownership of their own

health

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and make personal choices to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It is argued that

businesses

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should not be burdened with additional expenses and responsibilities of providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

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, as it may divert resources and attention away from the primary objectives of the company. In my opinion,

while

Linking Words

an individual’s

health

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is indeed their own

responsibility

Use synonyms

businesses

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

play a role in promoting

employee

Use synonyms

well-being. By providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

, companies show a commitment to the welfare of their

employees

Use synonyms

, which can foster loyalty and improve retention rates.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a healthy workforce can lead to fewer sick days and higher levels of productivity, ultimately benefiting the company’s bottom line.

Thus

Linking Words

, providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

can be seen as a long-term investment rather than an unnecessary expense. In conclusion, the question of whether

businesses

Use synonyms

should provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

for

employees

Use synonyms

remains contentious.

While

Linking Words

some argue that an individual’s

health

Use synonyms

is their own

responsibility

Use synonyms

, others believe that

businesses

Use synonyms

have a role to play in promoting

employee

Use synonyms

well-being. In my view,

businesses

Use synonyms

should provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

as part of a comprehensive approach to

health

Use synonyms

and well-being, taking into account the company’s objectives and the needs of its

employees

Use synonyms

. By doing so, they can create a supportive and healthy work environment that benefits both individuals and the organization as a whole.

Submitted by writingbhos on Sun Feb 25 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your essay's task response, aim to integrate more specific examples that neatly tie into your arguments. These examples can provide concrete evidence, making your perspective more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on varying your transitional phrases to guide the reader more smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is well structured, enhanced transitions will make your arguments more fluid.

Coherence & Cohesion

Revisit your paragraphs to ensure each one has a clear central idea or argument. Linking sentences within paragraphs more explicitly to this central idea can further improve your essay's coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

429 words

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Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities foremployees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? What other types of job should be highly paid?

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.