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Writing Samples
Band 4

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in rented accommodation? #countries #people #apartment #home #accommodation

#countries #people #apartment #home #accommodation
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In
majority
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the majority
show examples
 of the countries, people
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 like to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 in a rented house rather than
owning
Wrong verb form
own
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 one.
This
Linking Words
 is done in order to save
money
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 ,not having a own house becomes an insecurity.
This
Linking Words
 essay
portarys
Correct your spelling
portrays
 both views comprehensively. To
iniate
Correct your spelling
initiate
, individuals who work in
private
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the private
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 sector like Mutlinational
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
 are prone to change their jobs rapidly, say one gets promoted to
higher
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a higher
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 position and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 on moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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various cities.
Thus
Linking Words
, having own
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 would make it difficult to achieve
this
Linking Words
 as lots of
money
Use synonyms
 is gone into buying the
home
Use synonyms
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Furthermore
Linking Words
, adventurous individuals want to utilize their
money
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in doing
Change preposition
to do
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 the activities they like. So, they preserve the
money
Use synonyms
 by not having a
home
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 .A case in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Gurgaon presented
a
Correct article usage
apply
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data that seventy
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
population
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the population
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 do want
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
 in order to fulfil their quest of roaming around the world . Recently, an older couple
of
Change preposition
from
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 Australia has been found wandering around the world with the amount with which they could have bought
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
a home
the home
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.
However
Linking Words
, a
home
Use synonyms
 ensures
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
security in life. After getting retired from whichever job an individual is involved
, needs
Change preposition
in, needs
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 to take a permanent shelter.Now, without a place what would his future be like
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Such
Linking Words
 persons become
burden
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a burden
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 for the government because shelter houses need to be built for
such
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 citizens. millions of rupees were spent by
French
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the French
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 government
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
Linking Words
 persons in order to make their older days better. The same
money
Use synonyms
 could been used to build either a hospital or a school. To infer, having a
home
Use synonyms
 or not having it is entirely a personal desire. But I would think future security is a must.
Thus
Linking Words
, youth should carefully and timely analyze the role of a permanent shelter.
Submitted by lkapila25 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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