IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
Some
people
 think that social networking platforms like
Facebook
 are bad for society, local
communities
, and individuals. Even
while
 I believe that these websites primarily serve the needs of the individual, I concur that they have a detrimental effect on the adjacent areas. In terms of how each person has been impacted by online social media, there are clear advantages. First of all, social networking services like
Facebook
 and Twitter foster international friendships.
People
 hardly ever had the chance to communicate with or meet new
people
 before the development of technology and social networking platforms.
Second,
Facebook
 provides social groups so users can connect with
people
 who share their interests and engage in conversation. On the other side, there is no other way to interpret
Facebook
's and other social networking sites' impact on local
communities
 and societies except negatively. Individuals are opting to show greater interest in
people
 online rather than participating in their local
communities
.
As a result
, close-knit and encouraging relationships are no longer being formed among local residents.
Additionally
, when
people
 spend time online with
people
 they have never met in person and are unlikely to ever see again, society as a whole is becoming more divided and disjointed.
To sum up
, despite the fact that social networking sites have forged bonds between
people
, society and local
communities
 have not benefited from them in the same way. To advance the future of communal life, local
communities
 should work more to involve local residents in local activities.
Submitted by 11msccssbashir on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using stronger transitional phrases.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the negative impact on local communities and societies.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structures for accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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