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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a nagative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #nagative #development
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The amount of screen
time
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of
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by
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children
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 is concerning many adults, since most of the hours of the day are spent on
smartphones
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.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the reasons why
this
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 might be the case and present arguments, why, in my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development. The core of the problem
lays down to
Verb problem
lies in
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 parenting. I have seen numerous amount of times, when a child is given a gadget from an earlier age to calm down or as an option to spend
time
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.
This
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 way a child learns that
everytime
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every time
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 he gets upset, he is given a smartphone to play.
Furthermore
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, an addiction can be easily
developt
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developed
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 and in the
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future
Add a comma
future,
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 it will be hard for a person to stay away from his electronic device. Another reason might be social media, where most of the
children
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's and
teenager's
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teenagers'
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 communication happens. The temptation
as well as
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 the fear of missing something out is high, which leads to endless scrolling that increases the screen
time
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 a lot. When
children
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 play, they develop crucial social skills and creativity that are important for their
future
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.
However
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, the increased usage of
smartphones
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effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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on
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apply
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the quality of communication, since most of the messages sent are short and meaningless.
Besides
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 that,
children
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through
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over
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time
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 will lack concentration, since their attention span will get shorter.
This
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 might in the
future
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 negatively their academic success.
Therefore
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, I believe,
children
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's increased
time
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 spent on
smartphones
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, is
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 a negative development that
effects
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affects
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 their life in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run.
To conclude
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,
children
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's usage of
smartphones
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 depends on the way they have been raised
up
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apply
show examples
at home. Most are offered gadgets to deal with hard feelings from an earlier age, resulting in concentration problems in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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coherence cohesion
Include a thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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