IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #people #communication #employers #workers #factor #factors
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In many successful companies, some people believe that
communication
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 among
employees
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 and employers is paramount
while
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 other individuals think that other
factors
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 are important. I personally believe that
while
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 other
factors
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 are important to run a
company
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 and make a profit,
communication
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 among
employees
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 and employers is crucial because it helps to address many problems in the office. To build a successful
company
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, other
factors
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such
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 as ensuring cooperation among
employees
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, providing a safe and secure working environment, prioritizing the well-being of
employees
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 and chances for professional development are important because they help to run a
company
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 smoothly and make it successful. If a
company
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 can provide all those facilities to its
employees
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, it will enhance the productivity of the
company
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 and make a profit.
For example
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, in Australia, many companies prioritize the well-being of
employees
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, which helps to increase the productivity of
employees
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.
However
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, I personally believe that
communication
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 among
employees
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 is more important because it helps to solve many problems. In a
company
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,
communication
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 among
employees
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 is important because any type of problem can be solved by it. Many issues can be solved by
communication
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such
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 as managing conflicts and disagreements among
employees
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, setting goals, and prioritizing tasks. If there is no effective
communication
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 among employers and
employees
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 those abovementioned issues can not be addressed properly and remain unsolved, which will affect the productivity and outcomes of the
company
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.
For example
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, in India, many companies prioritize
communication
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 among managers and
employees
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 to solve disagreements among them. In conclusion, I personally believe that
while
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 other
factors
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 are important,
communication
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 skills are crucial to
run
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running
show examples
 a
company
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 because they help to solve many problems of a
company
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
While the introduction clearly states the topic, consider providing a brief outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear linking sentence at the beginning or end to enhance the flow between different sections of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to immediately identify the main focus of each paragraph.
task achievement
While adequate examples are provided, ensure they are directly tied to the main point you are making. This will increase the impact of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response, addressing both views on the topic before giving a personal opinion.
task achievement
The use of real-world examples, such as those from Australia and India, strengthens the arguments and shows relevant application of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing the discussion points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Effective communication
  • Job satisfaction
  • Company's goals and values
  • Problem solving
  • Decision-making processes
  • Market adaptability
  • Innovation
  • Leadership quality
  • Visionary leader
  • Supportive corporate culture
  • Inclusivity
  • Employee well-being
  • Productivity
  • Training and development opportunities
  • Corporate success
What to do next:
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