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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
From the past to nowadays,
music
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 popular among
people
 and they use the
music
 in their events. Today, individuals claim that
music
 is the best way to connect different traditions and
cultures
 from all countries. I completely agree with
this
 view for some reasons.
First,
each nation has
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
a variety
show examples
 of
melody
Fix the agreement mistake
melodies
show examples
 in different kinds of notes.
Also
, they use the local languages in
order
 to make songs so, they can show their
customes
Correct your spelling
customs
 and mother tongue to other nations which
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
 their local
music
 all over the world.
For example
, in
Iran
Add a comma
Iran,
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 there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
cultures
 with different
accent
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accents
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 their singer make local
melody
Fix the agreement mistake
melodies
show examples
 in
order
 to indicate their traditions to others.
Second,
people
 can learn new languages by listening to foreign
music
 which can improve their skills.
For instance
, individuals in
German
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Germany
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not know
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
 language,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can listen to English
music
 in
order
 to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their knowledge.
Therefore
, it is the best way to communicate different
cultures
 together.
Third,
in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 industry
music
 is very popular among local and foreign
people
 because their
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
 can produce different kinds of
music
 like pop, rock, jazz and other melody.
Furthermore
, they attract all
people
 around the world to their songs in
order
 to share their
customes
Correct your spelling
customs
customers
 and lifestyles
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages.
For example
, one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 famous
country
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countries
show examples
 that was developed in industry
music
 is
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 with
majority
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the majority
a majority
show examples
 of singers in different genres.
In addition
, they illustrate their civilizations and
cultures
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
music
.
Finally
,
music
 can modify the world and connect different traditions and
cultures
 together. In conclusion,
music
 has
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role
to show
Change preposition
in showing
show examples
 off
customes
Correct your spelling
customs
customers
 and lifestyles
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages.
Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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