IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is better to be unemployed than to be employed in a job one does not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#job
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Some of us believe that working with undesirable conditions is considered worse
more
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apply
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than being jobless. Despite there being lots of negative
association
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associations
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 with
unemployed
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unemployment
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 conditions, it is just
the
Correct article usage
a
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 matter of
a
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apply
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status. There are still lots of remote jobs and freelance options to consider.
Thus
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the opinion that unenjoyed
employees
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 lead to a wider drawback for
employees
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’
wellbeing
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well-being
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, which is impacted by unidentified problems in the company. Most companies measured the happiness of their
employees
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 through job satisfaction, which
then
Linking Words
 impacted
on
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employee performance that reflected on their productivity. Workers tend to work as much as they can to achieve the given targets because they
also
Linking Words
 need the monetary benefits, disregarding whether they are enjoyed or not. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, most of the workforce neglected their wellness
that
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which
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 may occur
as
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 long-term impact
of
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on
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 those working
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Due to
Linking Words
 the high workload,
employees
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 somehow do not pay attention to their worsening mental and physical health. The overworked
employees
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 have much pressure
in
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on
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 their regular tasks, which leads to depression. If
this
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 occurs in the long run, it would ruin the employee’s physician health, which contributes to
more
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the more
a more
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 financial
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expenses
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expense
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expenses
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 that may occur at their retirement.
Overall
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 enjoy their work are very important for individual
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. To a wider extent,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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comfortable working conditions and wellness benefits are important factors to consider
by
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for
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 the employer.
Submitted by kania.tunggadewi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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