Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extent is this a positive or negative development?

#technology #individuals #download #music #books #internet #charge #development

Infringement of intellectual properties protected by

has been pervasive in

this

digital era, causing numerous detriments to creative platforms. Albeit intense criticism toward

this

tendency, some argue that the free availability of online content offers

such

social benefits. From the perspective of the essay below,

infringement is viewed

under

Change preposition

show examples

a more lenient light to recognize some of its advantages. Admittedly,

this

trend has multiple upsides.

Initially

, in light of strong advancements

Change preposition

show examples

technology and IOT (Internet Of Things), learning materials and creative products are more widely available and accessible even to those who suffer from financial

burden

Fix the agreement mistake

burdens

show examples

For instance

, education and art recreations become approachable for underprivileged

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

, who desperately fall into poverty and need to acquire knowledge to escape their

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

show examples

situation.

Moreover

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

charge environment provides an open sharing environment for creators and artists to increase their exposure, popularity and mass recognition.

Free

Correct article usage

The free

show examples

approaching

Replace the word

approach

show examples

and availability of creative work on web-based

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

a potent tool to market and propagate their works. Yet, arguments have

also

demonstrated the harms of piracy violation.

Firstly

, undermining the value of intellectuals and deterring creativity. Undoubtedly, artists and content-maker commonly expect to profit from their

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

, which is excruciatingly restricted given

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the rampant spreading of piracy (acquisition of intellectual property via

infringement).

violators steal from artists'

livelihood

Fix the agreement mistake

livelihoods

show examples

and diminish their working incentive, and by extension,

limiting

Wrong verb form

limit

show examples

the growth of art.

Furthermore

violators are thoroughly responsible for perpetuating negative thoughts among users of piracy theft. Easy access to artistic content at no cost induces a flippant and injudicious attitude of online users, which in the expense of developing low regard for the value of creative products. As can be seen manifestly, countries without proper online regulation toward pirating

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

suffer from a corrupt online market that fails to motivate high-quality artwork.

To sum up

, downloading web-based creatives

impose

Correct subject-verb agreement

imposes

show examples

several benefits, especially for low-income demographics. Yet,it

also

pointed out to have numerous drawbacks to the creators. Unless some proper policies emerge,

this

issue won’t be addressed utterly.

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task achievement

Ensure clear and specific examples are provided to support the main points.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more coherently.

coherence cohesion

Include a more developed introduction and conclusion to provide a better overall structure to the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary throughout the essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to improve accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extent is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Scientists believe that by studying behavior of 3 years old children, we can predict if that child can become criminal in the future. To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to stop children from growing to be a criminal?

Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

we cannot help everyone in the world that needs helps, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?