Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The intricate relationship between societal equality and individual success is a subject of ongoing debate. Some argue that egalitarian
societies
provide a fertile ground for personal advancement,
while
others emphasize the importance of individual merit unshackled by societal constraints.
This
essay explores
this
nuanced dynamic, drawing on relevant examples to illuminate the interplay between equality and personal achievement. Advocates of egalitarianism point to countries
such
as Sweden and Canada, where progressive social policies aim to reduce socio-economic disparities. By providing universal access to healthcare, education, and social services, these
societies
strive to create an environment where everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed.
This
inclusive approach has been credited with fostering innovation and creativity, leading to advancements in various fields.
Conversely
, proponents of meritocracy highlight the success stories of individuals like Elon Musk and Oprah Winfrey, who rose to prominence through their talent, hard work, and determination. In meritocratic
societies
, individuals are encouraged to pursue excellence and are rewarded based on their contributions.
While
this
approach can lead to remarkable achievements, critics argue that it may perpetuate inequality if not accompanied by measures to support those who are less privileged. A nuanced understanding of
this
issue acknowledges the need to strike a balance between societal equity and individual agency. Countries like Norway and Germany exemplify
this
balance by combining generous social welfare programs with a strong emphasis on entrepreneurship and innovation. By providing support to those in need
while
also
encouraging individual initiative, these
societies
create opportunities for personal success
while
upholding principles of fairness and inclusivity. In conclusion, the relationship between equality and personal achievement is complex and multifaceted. By drawing on a variety of approaches and examples,
societies
can work towards creating environments where everyone has the chance to thrive, regardless of their background or circumstances.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Examples
Remember to offer even more specific examples tied directly to the points you discuss.
Balance
For an even higher score, you might delve deeper into counterarguments to your points, offering a refresher on opposing views and then rebutting them with your standpoint.
Structure
The essay provides a well-structured argument that is logical and coherent, making it easy to follow.
Examples
You used relevant examples like Sweden, Canada, Elon Musk, and Oprah Winfrey effectively to illustrate your points.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively wraps up the essay, reiterating the main argument in a clear manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: