IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that news media nowadays have infulenced people's lives in negative ways to what extent do you agree or disaggree.

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There is an assumption that some individuals believe that
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 industry recently
have
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has
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 negative impacts on
people
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's lives. As a matter of fact, I believe
citizens
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 may learn
miscalleneous
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miscellaneous
information
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 on different topics and access expert views without any effort.
This
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 essay will discuss why I
am disagree
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disagree
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 with
the
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their
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belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Firstly
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, most
news
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 channels share
a brief
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brief information
a piece of brief information
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information
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 on market prices, scientific
proggresses
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processes
,
technological
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and technological
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 improvements.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 might be aware of recent changes in economics, politics or science.
This
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 opportunity keeps
citizens
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' knowledge
update
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updated
show examples
 on various fields.
Therefore
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, they can easily reach the newest data on market price fluctuations or technological developments.
For example
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, some
middle-age
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
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people
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 who do not watch
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news
Add an article
the news
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 regularly lack the
information
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 about new iPhone series and prices.
On the other hand
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, most
of
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apply
show examples
young adults
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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already
knew
Wrong verb form
know
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new
Correct article usage
the new
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 features of
iPhone
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the iPhone
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 series 15, and
expected
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the expected
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 prices.
That is
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 because these
people
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 strictly follow
news
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 on social media or
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
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.
Thus
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, they will be aware of new technological products, and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 estimated values.
Secondly
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, media sources provide beneficial expert views
with
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to
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 their users which can be useful in
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citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
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 lives.
For instance
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, some
of
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apply
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healthcare providers occasionally give pieces of advice for improving well-being. Not only will it be helpful for their fitness, but it will
also
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 improve their awareness
on
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of
show examples
 healthy
life-styles
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lifestyles
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. Eventually,
people
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 may learn useful
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 from these
information
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 sources,
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besides
Correct word choice
and
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 it can be beneficial for their vision and health condition. In conclusion, some
people
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 believe
news
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 providers have a negative influence on
citizens
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' lives.
However
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, I believe that
people
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 can learn the newest
information
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 on different areas, and
this
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information
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 might well be beneficial for their health and awareness.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to indicate your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Address the opposing viewpoint and provide counterarguments to strengthen your position.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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