Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #animals

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At the present time, whilst opponents hold the view that

zoos

Use synonyms

are dangerous and should be restricted, proponents have diverse points of view that

zoos

Use synonyms

are beneficial to protect

animals

Use synonyms

from extinction.

However

Linking Words

I am a staunch believer that wildlife park has a substantial role in the

Use synonyms

animals

Change to a genitive case

animal's

animals'

show examples

ecosystem,

besides

Linking Words

, it is an attractive place for children and tourists. on the one hand, the crowd believe that it is dangerous to leave

animals

Use synonyms

between the civilians. Despite having strict security and trained staff members, sometimes the situation might be out of control.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some species have assertive behaviours which could pose a threat to people. as an eminent example, it has been reported that lions' feeders are subjected to numerous cruel attacks in the Egyptian zoo.

Hence

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what can be said is that

zoos

Use synonyms

endangering

Wrong verb form

endanger

show examples

the safety of the people.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, proponents and I are convinced that

animals

Use synonyms

need appropriate care because numerous species will go extinct soon.

Consequently

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

should provide a good environment for these kinds of

animals

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to increase their breeds.

For example

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, rare panda species in China have had obstacles to resuming their reproduction

due to

Linking Words

a lack of bamboo trees.

Consequently

Linking Words

, The government considered

this

Linking Words

an emergency and started to plant bamboo trees in all seasons.

Thus

Linking Words

, people not only

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

save rare

animals

Use synonyms

through

zoos

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, but

also

Linking Words

they should provide them with a suitable environment. In conclusion, after the essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be stated that even though wildlife parks may frighten civilians, they are a complete form of nature that has to be respected. I believe that

zoos

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have an indispensable role in reducing

specimens

Correct your spelling

species

show examples

extinction.

Submitted by drkareemabdelfattah on Mon Oct 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear topic sentences and paragraph development. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. Make sure to provide transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of zoos. Provide more counterarguments to strengthen the opposing view.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource score.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use proper verb forms.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, more and more employees choose to work remotely, for example from their homes. Many view this as a positive development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?

Should museums should be free, OR some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and opine.