Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At the present time, whilst opponents hold the view that

zoos

Use synonyms

are dangerous and should be restricted, proponents have diverse points of view that

zoos

Use synonyms

are beneficial to protect

animals

Use synonyms

from extinction.

However

Linking Words

I am a staunch believer that wildlife park has a substantial role in the

Use synonyms

animals

Change to a genitive case

animal's

animals'

show examples

ecosystem,

besides

Linking Words

, it is an attractive place for children and tourists. on the one hand, the crowd believe that it is dangerous to leave

animals

Use synonyms

between the civilians. Despite having strict security and trained staff members, sometimes the situation might be out of control.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some species have assertive behaviours which could pose a threat to people. as an eminent example, it has been reported that lions' feeders are subjected to numerous cruel attacks in the Egyptian zoo.

Hence

Linking Words

what can be said is that

zoos

Use synonyms

endangering

Wrong verb form

endanger

show examples

the safety of the people.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, proponents and I are convinced that

animals

Use synonyms

need appropriate care because numerous species will go extinct soon.

Consequently

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

should provide a good environment for these kinds of

animals

Use synonyms

to increase their breeds.

For example

Linking Words

, rare panda species in China have had obstacles to resuming their reproduction

due to

Linking Words

a lack of bamboo trees.

Consequently

Linking Words

, The government considered

this

Linking Words

an emergency and started to plant bamboo trees in all seasons.

Thus

Linking Words

, people not only

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

save rare

animals

Use synonyms

through

zoos

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

they should provide them with a suitable environment. In conclusion, after the essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be stated that even though wildlife parks may frighten civilians, they are a complete form of nature that has to be respected. I believe that

zoos

Use synonyms

have an indispensable role in reducing

specimens

Correct your spelling

species

show examples

extinction.

drkareemabdelfattah

Oct 9, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear topic sentences and paragraph development. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. Make sure to provide transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.

task achievement

The essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of zoos. Provide more counterarguments to strengthen the opposing view.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource score.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use proper verb forms.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged that business owners tend to hire employees who will sign the contract with a lifelong duration. In my opinion, while these employment projects can lead to financial stability and guarantee individuals' revenue, unforeseen circumstances like making people slaves, and disadvantaging with social packages can occur.
8
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the modern age, there is an upward tendency among children to dedicate several hours a day to working on their phones. While it may stem from their curiosity and the prevalence of technology, I contend that it is highly detrimental for them due to the reasons this essay further elaborates on.
7
band
The internet has transformed how we interact and live in many great ways, but has also created problems that didn’t exist before. What are the more serious problems caused by the internet and what solutions could you suggest?
The schooling system could be a broad discussion topic for some open-minded people. Some people argue that school is a waste of time and other groups claim that school is fundamental for education.
6.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
A group of people present the view that music is an effective way of communication which is able to connect diverse walks of life worldwide. In my opinion, there are some reasons for rejecting this notion in that sometimes music fails to create an atmosphere of togetherness.
7
band
Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.
It is considered by some that private schools are beneficial for young people, while there are others who think it can be detrimental to students and society at large. On the one side, private schools can provide better education quality by inviting the best teachers and offering more personalized experiences, however, this money-based segregation contributes to social inequality.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The internet has transformed how we interact and live in many great ways, but has also created problems that didn’t exist before. What are the more serious problems caused by the internet and what solutions could you suggest?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.