IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

#people #internet #information #access
Nowadays, the diversity of
information
 provided by searching on the internet is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
valuable knowledge. In my opinion, being able to get access easily to all kinds of
information
 brings an enormous number of opportunities into
people
’s lives. The accessibility of any
information
 may evoke the occurrence of some serious consequences. Thanks to the internet, there is a chance to find answers to some questions that interest you regarding any topic in the world, be it
synthesis
Correct article usage
the synthesis
show examples
 of plants or fashion trends in France throughout the 1800s. Being capable of reading any documents and
scientists
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 studies related to subjects either biology or math,
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
 who wish to develop and be well-rounded, to be cognizant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
, unless they are studying in university. There are
also
 a myriad of articles which have been vital
helpful
Correct word choice
and helpful
show examples
 for individuals in daily life, providing some steps of first aid in case of emergency circumstances. The accessibility of knowledge simplifies lives and frees us from the necessity to master some courses at
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
.
However
, sometimes
people
 could be misinformed by
information
 written by
pseudo experts
Add a hyphen
pseudo-experts
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 doubtful websites, which can lead to severe consequences because of not
appropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
 rendering
first
Change preposition
of first
show examples
 aid.
As a result
 of unverified
information
, the stereotypes appear and as much worse
people
 may end up in a hospital.
This
 pushes
people
 to sort out the
information
 they soak up every day from web sources.
To sum up
, I agree that the appearance of a source where a person can reveal for himself some gripping facts counts as valuable. Despite any issues based on it, it’s only for the benefit of humanity.
Submitted by arinatiutina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!