IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the Uk

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The line graph represents the changes in accessibility of the modern technical innovations within doors in the UK between 1994 and 2008. The CD
player
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, Mobile phone and the Internet connection showed
a
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steady growth over the period since it appeared in homes, whilst the DVD
player
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 diverged the most dramatic changes as a massive jump. The DVD
player
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 rapidly rose at the beginning
in
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of
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 2002 from nearly 30% to 80%,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 it markedly flattened out to 2008. At the same
time
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time,
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 the remaining technologies picked up moderately from different percentages and all stated below 80%, remaining relatively constant;
then
Linking Words
 experienced a slight upward tendency to the end of the period. The DVD
player
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, CD
player
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 and the Internet connection witnessed
a
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moderate progress during the first 10 years. Meanwhile, the Mobile phone diverged from the other at the beginning, escalating steadily steeply to 80% until 2004 and
leveled
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levelled
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 off by 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words player with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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