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Band 4

Smoking should be banned in public places because it not only harms the smokers, but also those who are nearby. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#places #smokers
Smoking is a main cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 serious illnesses and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
affect
Verb problem
faces
show examples
 some negative effects due
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 bad
behaviour
. Mainly
this
 phenomenon does not only
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
users but
also
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
are connect
Change the verb form
are connecting
are connected
show examples
 with
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
addictors and
seen
Add a missing verb
have seen
show examples
this
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
show examples
behaviour
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of view considering
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and personal rights for
democratic
Add an article
a democratic
show examples
 society. On the first point,
People
 face some bad scenarios without directly involvement
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the event. Smoking is the best answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
. Because of, if
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 who closely
engage
Correct subject-verb agreement
engages
show examples
 with some
smokers
 and
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
show examples
 near a smoker, they will categorize as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 indirect
smokers
Fix the agreement mistake
smoker
show examples
. The baddest result from
this
, the smoker
smoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
smokes
show examples
 through the filter and
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 few things like tar and gases
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not enter to respiration system
due to
filter
Correct article usage
the filter
show examples
 available in the cigarettes. But the indirect
smokers
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
 these things through the air.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, If
people
 use public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to smoke, it is
worst
Add an article
the worst
show examples
 experience for others nearby
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In
Addison
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
 to that, Some children show these
smokers
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
public places and they try to feel
this
 experience. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it will be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first step
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of unnecessary
behaviour
On the other hand
,
People
 have an
independent
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 to do something on their own mind. In
this
 scenario, unable to force
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to avoid
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
behaviour
. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there are some rights to
people
 to live everywhere in their own
behaviour
. Some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 gain some comfortable
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 if they have to smoke. In conclusion,
Although
 some agree points of
these
Change the determiner
this addicted behaviour
show examples
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
show examples
behaviour
, I totally agree with
this
 argument. Because of smoking is world
wide
Correct word choice
worldwide
show examples
 problem that the unable to avoid from the
people
due to
 some business strategies. As a government should
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
 to control
this
 health issue
some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
show examples
 or other, it will
great
Change the adjective
greatly
show examples
 support
to generate
Change the verb form
generating
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 generation.
Submitted by prabhashamila on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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