Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people; however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

No one can deny that economic progress contributes a lot to a
country
, helping citizens increase income and
also
promoting developing countries. I always hold the notion that a good
government
is a
government
visionary because the development of a city not only depends on economics but
also
has other elements.
Therefore
, I would have to say that economics is not only the most important goal, there are many other goals as well. For starters, education if a
country
is without education, it will be very difficult to develop because school is one of the places to teach
people
how to behave and do good.
In addition
, school provides an environment where children can learn a lot of basic skills and they
also
get the chance to practice their problem-solving and cognitive skills.
This
should help
people
become aware that they have a responsibility to help the
country
develop more and more.
Besides
, health care is equally important in the growth of a
country
.
This
is true that when the world develops more and more
people
discover lots of diseases.
Therefore
, healthcare is increasingly important in socio-economic development
as well as
country
. The reasons why healthcare is increasingly important is because it helps us ensure quality of life and
people
are the subjects of society and can make decisions to change the shape of the
country
’s development. Because of
this
, we can see that ensuring
people
have good health will help the
country
develop sustainably. In conclusion, a
country
that wants to be strong and wealthy needs a talented
government
and a talented
government
must have great vision and should not just care about the economy but
also
pay attention to many other aspects to help the
country
develop more. I know every individual will have different notions but if I have a chance to manage a
country
, I will still keep my above points.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and provides an overview of the points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more organized structure for your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be developed with supporting details.
lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary and incorporate more complex sentence structures to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to noun-verb agreement and improve the accuracy of your sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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