Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Mostly,people
believes
that putting money on clothes,haircuts and beauty products could enhance their look Change the verb form
believe
and
so they think it is a better way to spend.Correct word choice
apply
whereas
, others believe there are more useful things than grooming.
Firstly
, everyone believes that grooming themselves more attractive can bring them huge opportunities.Because of that, everyone buys new clothes, cosmetics
and Correct word choice
and cosmetics
also
goes to a hairstylist.Moreover
, some companies highly concentrate on their employees
appearance.Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
For example
, a cosmetic company or a fashion company wants their workers to be as fashionable as their products and also
beautiful ,since they also
reprensent
their Correct your spelling
represent
companies
product.Fix the agreement mistake
company
consequenty
, people were in Correct your spelling
Consequently
a
need to make them more voguish.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, it is more
preferable to improve their skills based on the Correct quantifier usage
apply
job
expectation,rather than wasting their money on outlooks.In particular
, we can learn to program,design and so on .Since,
most Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
companies Correct article usage
apply
requires
Change the verb form
require
a
skilled labour and Remove the article
apply
therefore
acquiring those skills can give us a job
. For instance
, a person who learns to program can get a job
on
Change preposition
in
tcs
,Correct your spelling
TCS
vipbro
and other service or Correct your spelling
Vibro
product based
programming industries.Add a hyphen
product-based
While
,
a designer can get a Remove the comma
apply
job
on
Change preposition
in
a
Correct article usage
the
designing
field.Owing to that , we need to invest Replace the word
design
on
our learning.
Change preposition
in
To conclude
,grooming ourselves was a more essenential
quality.But in my opinion , Correct your spelling
essential
along with
outlooks ,we also
nees
to improve our knowledge.BecauseCorrect your spelling
need
,
beauty without knowledge is a sin.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by insighttribez on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!