Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #clothes #haircuts #beauty #products #appearance

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Mostly,people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that putting money on clothes,haircuts and beauty products could enhance their look

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so they think it is a better way to spend.

whereas

, others believe there are more useful things than grooming.

Firstly

, everyone believes that grooming themselves more attractive can bring them huge opportunities.Because of that, everyone buys new clothes,

cosmetics

Correct word choice

and cosmetics

show examples

and

also

goes to a hairstylist.

Moreover

, some companies highly concentrate on their

employees

Change to a genitive case

employee's

employees'

show examples

appearance.

For example

, a cosmetic company or a fashion company wants their workers to be as fashionable as their products and

also

beautiful ,since they

also

reprensent

Correct your spelling

represent

their

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

company

show examples

product.

consequenty

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, people were in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

need to make them more voguish.

On the other hand

, it is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable to improve their skills based on the

job

expectation,rather than wasting their money on outlooks.

In particular

, we can learn to program,design and so on .Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies

requires

Change the verb form

require

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

skilled labour and

therefore

acquiring those skills can give us a

job

For instance

, a person who learns to program can get a

job

Change preposition

show examples

tcs

Correct your spelling

TCS

vipbro

Correct your spelling

Vibro

and other service or

product based

Add a hyphen

product-based

show examples

programming industries.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a designer can get a

job

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

designing

Replace the word

design

show examples

field.Owing to that , we need to invest

Change preposition

show examples

our learning.

To conclude

,grooming ourselves was a more

essenential

Correct your spelling

essential

quality.But in my opinion ,

along with

outlooks ,we

also

nees

Correct your spelling

need

to improve our knowledge.Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

beauty without knowledge is a sin.

Submitted by insighttribez on Tue Oct 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

227 words

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before. Some people sayan aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change and developing countries. other believe that all countries should have the same responsibilties towards protectiong the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.