Some people think that the main goal of schools should be making children into responsible citizens and good workers, rather than benefitting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational

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system
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is so crucial for any
countiry
Correct your spelling
country

If you don’t want countiry to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is commonly held belief that
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should train young
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to be
well-beeing
Correct your spelling
well-being

If you don’t want well-beeing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens

It seems that citizen may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, there
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an argument
opposesing
Correct your spelling
opposing
opposes

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it. In my opinion, I consider that the benefit of
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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educational
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will lead to a better society in the future.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, schools are the first place that any kid
gose
Correct your spelling
goes

If you don’t want gose to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to. And start to recognize himself and others,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as his personality, needs, and
hoppies
Correct your spelling
hippies
hopes
hoppers

If you don’t want hoppies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, kids spend the majority of their time at
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with different kinds of teachers and
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast

It appears that the phrase vast number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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number of other
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, whatever
happened
Wrong verb form
happens

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb happened. Consider changing it.

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their
Replace the word
there

The word their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
is
effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
them directly.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In some
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries

If you don’t want countiries to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

like
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea

If you don’t want korea to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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and Japan,
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have a lot of things to do after
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-day, dance,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports

It seems that sport may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and
perpering
Correct your spelling
preparing

If you don’t want perpering to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for exams.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they spent more than 7 hours
per-day
Correct your spelling
per day

The word per-day doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Anther
Correct your spelling
Another

The word Anther doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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point to consider, educational
atitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions

If you don’t want atitutions to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

made it very
clearly
Change the word
clear

Clearly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
for teachers to provide beneficial and suitable
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information

It appears that informations is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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for each one of their
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.And give them good examples to be
heart-kindness
Replace the word
heart-kind

The word heart-kindness doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and loyal workers.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
child
Correct article usage
the child

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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see
Change the verb form
sees

The plural verb see does not appear to agree with the singular subject child. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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his teachers as a parent at
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

so he ask for help and for
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information

It appears that informations is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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when he
needs
Correct pronoun usage
needs it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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,
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

should be taken seriously
from
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they do not just have the trust
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
kids and families but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
countiry's
Correct your spelling
country's

If you don’t want countiry to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

leaders.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the educational
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gave them
multible
Correct your spelling
multiple

If you don’t want multible to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ways to deal with student's issues in or out the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. And
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of parents ask for advice from their kid's
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers

It seems that teacher may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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cause
Correct word choice
because

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
they know that they have the knowledge and experience to help them. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we could not build a healthy community without a huge support from
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

school
Add an article
the school

The noun phrase school system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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