Some people think that the main goal of schools should be making children into responsible citizens and good workers, rather than benefitting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #schools #children #citizens #workers #individuals

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying the fact that

educational

Correct article usage

the educational

show examples

system

Use synonyms

is so crucial for any

countiry

Correct your spelling

country

While

Linking Words

it is commonly held belief that

school

Use synonyms

should train young

students

Use synonyms

to be

well-beeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

, there

also

Linking Words

an argument

opposesing

Correct your spelling

opposing

opposes

it. In my opinion, I consider that the benefit of

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

educational

system

Use synonyms

will lead to a better society in the future.

To begin

Linking Words

with, schools are the first place that any kid

gose

Correct your spelling

goes

to. And start to recognize himself and others,

such

Linking Words

as his personality, needs, and

hoppies

Correct your spelling

hippies

hopes

hoppers

In other words

Linking Words

, kids spend the majority of their time at

school

Use synonyms

with different kinds of teachers and

vast

Change the article

a vast

the vast

show examples

number of other

students

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, whatever

happened

Wrong verb form

happens

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

them directly.

For example

Linking Words

, In some

countiries

Correct your spelling

countries

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

show examples

and Japan,

students

Use synonyms

have a lot of things to do after

school

Use synonyms

-day, dance,

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, and

perpering

Correct your spelling

preparing

for exams.

Thus

Linking Words

, they spent more than 7 hours

per-day

Correct your spelling

per day

show examples

Anther

Correct your spelling

Another

show examples

point to consider, educational

atitutions

Correct your spelling

institutions

made it very

clearly

Change the word

clear

show examples

for teachers to provide beneficial and suitable

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

for each one of their

students

Use synonyms

.And give them good examples to be

heart-kindness

Replace the word

heart-kind

show examples

and loyal workers.

Moreover

Linking Words

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

see

Change the verb form

sees

show examples

his teachers as a parent at

school

Use synonyms

so he ask for help and for

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

when he

needs

Correct pronoun usage

needs it

show examples

This

Linking Words

should be taken seriously

from

Change preposition

show examples

them,

thus

Linking Words

, they do not just have the trust

from

Change preposition

show examples

kids and families but

also

Linking Words

the

countiry's

Correct your spelling

country's

leaders.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the educational

system

Use synonyms

gave them

multible

Correct your spelling

multiple

ways to deal with student's issues in or out the

school

Use synonyms

. And

for instance

Linking Words

, a lot of parents ask for advice from their kid's

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

they know that they have the knowledge and experience to help them. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we could not build a healthy community without a huge support from

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

system

Use synonyms

Submitted by rayan on Tue Oct 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?
In this contemporary epoch, keeping the home and work tidy and organized is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same time that most people are interested in daily. In the recent time, this point is important. Otherwise, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of keeping the home and work tidy and organized.
7.5
band
A balanced diet, or eating balanced meals, is the key to a healthy life. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It is generally claimed that going on a diet helps people to lead a healthy lifestyle. However, there are other factors which contribute to individuals' healthcare effectiveness. That is why I partially agree with this view.
8
band
The Decline of Respect for the Elderly in Modern Society Discuus both views and give you opinion
In today’s world, the elderly seem to merit inadequate reverence from their societies. The underlying causes of this trend are linked to poor family connections, while many social implications can ensue due to this change.
4.5
band
Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon!
It is massively known that the purchase of import products has been going strong for several years between one country to another. The bilateral agreements definitely play a role in this gradual development. Despite being globally conducted, people are divided whether this is the right move to fulfill the necessities of a country or not. Therefore, this essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of buying products made in other countries.
7
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance in sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sprts person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that some entertainers are born with their talents and others believe that talented people can be developed through effort. Both views will be discussed, but I opine the former view is more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?

A balanced diet, or eating balanced meals, is the key to a healthy life. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The Decline of Respect for the Elderly in Modern Society Discuus both views and give you opinion

Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon!

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance in sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sprts person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.