IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #waste #time
A great number of high school graduates decide to take a
one
Add a hyphen
one-year
show examples
year
 break to travel or find jobs to gain more work experience before enrolling in higher
education
. Even Though many people hold the view that it is
time
-consuming to take a
year
 off, I believe if the
time
 is used reasonably, taking
time
 off to see the world is a great idea. On the one hand, there are several advantages to taking a gap
year
. Most importantly, having a
year
 off to travel helps young adults
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
explore more different cultures from numerous regions.
As a result
, they can mature independently and have
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 to cope with life’s problems.
Moreover
, having a job during a gap
year
 may broaden
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
 horizons and learn essential skills
such
 as
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
,
time
 management,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 and communicating,
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
In addition
 to
this
, if you have enough
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 from going out to see the world, you can realize your passion and decide what field you want to study to facilitate your future career preparation.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of pausing for a
year
 should be taken into consideration. The most significant drawback is that it can be a distraction from
further
 studies. If young adults
finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
 out it is easy to earn money, they will value the job
instead
 of the knowledge they can get from third-level
education
 and their studying habits will be negatively affected.
Furthermore
, it is
time
-consuming if
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 graduates devote more
time
 to relaxing and enjoying themselves all the
time
 during the
year
 off.
Hence
, students who choose to have one
year
 off often suffer from boredom and get lost in their path of ambition. They will
also
 feel depressed and aimless when seeing their peers succeed in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
To conclude
, taking a gap
year
 before entering tertiary
education
 could disrupt a student's ability to pursue their
education
.
However
, if the
time
 is used wisely, skipping a
year
 of studying can allow them to gain more knowledge and learn important skills.
Submitted by anhquynhkth06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen the coherence and relevance of your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and addressing them in your essay. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: