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Band 5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

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A great number of high school graduates decide to take a
one
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one-year
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year
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 break to travel or find jobs to gain more work experience before enrolling in higher
education
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. Even Though many people hold the view that it is
time
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-consuming to take a
year
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 off, I believe if the
time
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 is used reasonably, taking
time
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 off to see the world is a great idea. On the one hand, there are several advantages to taking a gap
year
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. Most importantly, having a
year
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 off to travel helps young adults
to
Verb problem
apply
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explore more different cultures from numerous regions.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can mature independently and have
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
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 to cope with life’s problems.
Moreover
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, having a job during a gap
year
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 may broaden
student’s
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students’
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 horizons and learn essential skills
such
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 as
decision making
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decision-making
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,
time
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 management,
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 and communicating,
..
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.
...
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In addition
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 to
this
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, if you have enough
experiences
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experience
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 from going out to see the world, you can realize your passion and decide what field you want to study to facilitate your future career preparation.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantages of pausing for a
year
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 should be taken into consideration. The most significant drawback is that it can be a distraction from
further
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 studies. If young adults
finds
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find
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 out it is easy to earn money, they will value the job
instead
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 of the knowledge they can get from third-level
education
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 and their studying habits will be negatively affected.
Furthermore
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, it is
time
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-consuming if
highschool
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high school
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 graduates devote more
time
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 to relaxing and enjoying themselves all the
time
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 during the
year
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 off.
Hence
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, students who choose to have one
year
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 off often suffer from boredom and get lost in their path of ambition. They will
also
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 feel depressed and aimless when seeing their peers succeed in their
career
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careers
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.
To conclude
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, taking a gap
year
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 before entering tertiary
education
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 could disrupt a student's ability to pursue their
education
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.
However
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, if the
time
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 is used wisely, skipping a
year
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 of studying can allow them to gain more knowledge and learn important skills.

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coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen the coherence and relevance of your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by acknowledging counterarguments and addressing them in your essay. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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