There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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The world has shown remarkable progress from the Stone Age to the world of technology. Every generation is getting more advanced and talented which has led to increasing competition in every aspect like acceptance in renowned universities, job opportunities, and many more. The prompt suggested that to cope, with the challenge

students

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should be focused on only academic studies. I strongly disagree with the prompt

due to

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two main reasons.

Firstly

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, I agree that there is immense pressure to succeed in the

field

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of academics for younger generations.

However

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, it is not a trivial matter to identify a personal interest in any particular

field

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. An individual is more likely to excel in any

field

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when it aligns with their

field

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of interest. If schools just limit the

students

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to academics they might never get the opportunity to explore their interests in other non-academic tasks.

Correct word choice

Students

show examples

students

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are likely to rely on the schools and the teachers on

such

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matters. So, it's important to include a wide range of topics in school creating an environment to identify one's interest.

Further

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, everyone needs a break, moments to enjoy and live. The different activities

besides

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the academics performed in the schools might act as a break from a monotonous studious environment. A fresh mind helps to capture the information more quickly increasing their efficacy. When the balance is strict between academic and non-academic activities it can boost their performance resulting in useful outputs. In conclusion,

overall

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on a large scale, a more positive impact of non-academic activities can be observed in the younger generations. So removing it might lead to some unwanted consequences badly affecting the mental health of young

students

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Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on Tue Oct 10 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main points are well-supported with evidence or explanation.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise language.

grammatical range accuracy

Review your grammar and sentence structures to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Deforestation is one of the major issues which need to be tackled. Explore the causes and consequences of deforestation. What strategies, according to you, can be used to promote sustainable forestry and reforestation?

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.