IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #waste #money #countries #host #events #world #cup #impact #country
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Some believe
that is
 a good investment for countries to
host
 major
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competions
Correct your spelling
competitions
,
while
 others argue that
this
money
 can be
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 in other aspects. In the remainder of
this
 essay, both points of view will be explored and will be drawn logical conclusion
at the end
. Nations spend
money
 to become
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
host
 of big sporting
events
 for different reasons.
Firstly
, some governments expect to
recovery
Replace the word
recover
show examples
 the
money
 that
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the preparations
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 big export
events
 during the event of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
next months through
Correct article usage
the touris
show examples
touris
Correct your spelling
tourism
tourist
 industry. What is more,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 nations invest in
this
 kind of
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
 with the
propose
Correct your spelling
purpose
show examples
 of
promove
Correct your spelling
promoting
 their culture
aroudn
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
For instance
, Katar is a strong economy that spent hundreds of
millons
Correct your spelling
millions
dollars
Change preposition
of dollars
show examples
 in the
last
fotball
Correct your spelling
football
 Worldcup, in order to
promove
Correct your spelling
promote
a good images
Correct the article-noun agreement
good images
a good image
show examples
 of their nation and
tradictions
Correct your spelling
traditions
contradictions
. Clearly, grand sports
events
 can a play political role and some nations are willing to invest
money
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 objective.
On the other hand
, the priorities for several
admnistrations
Correct your spelling
administrations
are focus
Change the verb form
are focused
are focusing
show examples
in improve
Change preposition
on improving
show examples
 the quality of life for their citizens.
To begin
 with, the majority of
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 used the
money
 of taxes to build the structures
necessaries
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
 to
host
 big sporting
events
.
For example
, Bolivia is a South American country with significant challenges in it is healthcare and education system,
as well as
Correct article usage
a complicate
show examples
complicate
Wrong verb form
complicated
show examples
 political landscape. There are
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
 public
money
 on the construction of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
 could lead to political issues or even civil war. So, for many
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 the priorities are lead to supply basic issues first
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 attend
sportig
Correct your spelling
sporting
events
. In conclusion, I admit that for
richs
Correct your spelling
rich
riches
 countries
become in
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a
host
 of Olympic games can bring
beneficts
Correct your spelling
benefits
, but for many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 the
money
 that
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
stadium
Add an article
the stadium
show examples
also
 can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 in healthcare or education.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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