IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Correct the information in the article Explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information Suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

#article #travel #magazine #information #town #situation
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been a satisfied and permanent customer of your
magazine
 for several years, but now I am disappointed because recently I read a topic of your
magazine
 which includes false
information
 about my
town
. In fact,
this
information
 is completely unacceptable, for the following reasons. my
town
 is one of the ancient cities of the world and it has traditional buildings,
such
 as Persepolis, Vakil Bazaar, and many traditional gardens, but Khajo Bridge is not in my
town
 and is located in Isfahan.
Also
, the official language and lingua franca in my
town
 is Persian but in your
magazine
, the language of my city is written incorrectly.
This
 should be important for your
magazine
 to give the correct
information
 because false
information
 may confuse tourists. As your regular customer and to maintain the credibility of the
magazine
, I suggest considering the mistake that has occurred and correcting
this
 false
information
 in the next version.
Also
, it is better to read details of maps from the internet before publishing
information
 about the cities. Kind regards, Saeid Shirazi
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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