children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives.What are the causes of these and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures
In the present
days
,Fix the agreement mistake
day
children
are facing many problems ,such
as academic, commercial and others.This
essay intends to discuss the reasons for pressure and suggest some measures to alleviate this
issue. There are pressures on children
, which are related to academic issues.For example
, their parents
want their children
to excel in every field. That's why , they have to do a lot
of tasks.If they are not the best pupil,their parents
will punish them and this
is why, they have a lot
of academic pressure. They have a lot
of lessons and also
there are
private tuition after school and Change the verb form
is
this
causes a lot
of stress and problems related to their health. There are also
social and commercial pressures.They want to know all things all over the world.For example
, they want to adopt different cultures,
and different languages and Remove the comma
apply
this
changes their outlooks.Because of adopting other cultures, they forget their tradition and they may not respect their parents
or other people .Secondly
,their commercial problem is very noticeable.For example
,if their peers wear expensive clothes, they want to wear this
kind of clothes and their parents
don't buy them ,they will face pressure. Despite this
,it is possible to find solutions .Firstly
,parents
have to be patient and teachers haven't to give more homework than they can do .Children
's more time in school, so the biggest onus on the school and teachers. Secondly
,parents
have to help their children
to choose friends,because if their friends are not disciplined, this
affects to
their Change preposition
apply
children
. To conclude
,it has been reiterated that there are academic,social and commercial pressures among today's children
.This
essay suggested some solutions to this
.If this
is not stopped ,this
will be a disaster,but it is not at a very bad level and it is possible to prevent it.Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more concise introduction that clearly states the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical and structured manner.
task achievement
Expand on the measures that can be taken to reduce the pressures faced by children.
lexical resource
Use more precise and accurate vocabulary to convey your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion