children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives.What are the causes of these and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

In the present

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

children

Use synonyms

are facing many problems ,

such

Linking Words

as academic, commercial and others.

This

Linking Words

essay intends to discuss the reasons for pressure and suggest some measures to alleviate

this

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issue. There are pressures on

children

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, which are related to academic issues.

For example

Linking Words

, their

parents

Use synonyms

want their

children

Use synonyms

to excel in every field. That's why , they have to do a

lot

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of tasks.If they are not the best pupil,their

parents

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will punish them and

this

Linking Words

is why, they have a

lot

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of academic pressure. They have a

lot

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of lessons and

also

Linking Words

there

are

Change the verb form

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private tuition after school and

this

Linking Words

causes a

lot

Use synonyms

of stress and problems related to their health. There are

also

Linking Words

social and commercial pressures.They want to know all things all over the world.

For example

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, they want to adopt different cultures

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and different languages and

this

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changes their outlooks.Because of adopting other cultures, they forget their tradition and they may not respect their

parents

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or other people .

Secondly

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,their commercial problem is very noticeable.

For example

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,if their peers wear expensive clothes, they want to wear

this

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kind of clothes and their

parents

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don't buy them ,they will face pressure. Despite

this

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,it is possible to find solutions .

Firstly

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parents

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have to be patient and teachers haven't to give more homework than they can do .

Children

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's more time in school, so the biggest onus on the school and teachers.

Secondly

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parents

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have to help their

children

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to choose friends,because if their friends are not disciplined,

this

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affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

children

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To conclude

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,it has been reiterated that there are academic,social and commercial pressures among today's

children

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This

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essay suggested some solutions to

this

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.If

this

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is not stopped ,

this

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will be a disaster,but it is not at a very bad level and it is possible to prevent it.

ieltsteaching0Tue Oct 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer and more concise introduction that clearly states the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more logical and structured manner.

task achievement

Expand on the measures that can be taken to reduce the pressures faced by children.

lexical resource

Use more precise and accurate vocabulary to convey your ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives.What are the causes of these and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that the age limit for driving should be increased to make driving safer, do you agree or disagree?