Many museums and historical sites are mostly visited by foreign tourists, but not local people. Why do you think it happens? What can be done to attract local visitors to these sites?

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Nowadays, the large groups of

people

Use synonyms

visiting museums are dominantly from abroad.

This

Linking Words

essay provides my personal opinions of the background

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomenon happens.

In addition

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

displays suggestions to overcome

this

Linking Words

problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I totally believe that

this

Linking Words

problem is caused by

lacking

Wrong verb form

the lack

show examples

of local

peoples'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

interest in visiting these historical sites. More and more local

people

Use synonyms

are only fascinated to spend their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

somewhere where they value the most whilst foreign tourists opt to plan a trip to travel a country only to visit local

wisdoms

Change the wording

wisdom

pearls of wisdom

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, these local majorities prefer to go to destinations

such

Linking Words

as festivals and natures (mountains or ocean) rather than art

galeries

Correct your spelling

galleries

or tribal festivals.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these sites are only visited by vast groups of foreigners.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I have several suggestions to overcome

this

Linking Words

unique case. I assume preserving the value of these places is highly needed. Local

people

Use synonyms

can start these strategies in schools and teenagers.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

step will likely assist children to put more interest

Change preposition

into

show examples

museums.

For instance

Linking Words

, Teachers can arrange a study tour or a benchmarking in these areas. Students may learn a plethora of information regarding arts and past heroes or heroines which are only provided in special areas like museums. In conclusion,

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

the reason behind

this

Linking Words

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

case is the less interest of society around

towards

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local

wisdoms

Change the wording

wisdom

pearls of wisdom

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can always have a chance to recover from

this

Linking Words

social dilemma.

Thus

Linking Words

, maintaining youth and elders is the perfect step to deal with

this

Linking Words

case.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a vast generation of locals will visit these sites more in the future.

misstiasclassroomTue Oct 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

You need to ensure that your essay has a more cohesive structure with clearer progression of ideas throughout. Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using a range of linking words and cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and effectively summarize the main points of your essay. The conclusion should concisely restate the thesis and main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your main points are well-supported by specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. Avoid being too general; use specific and detailed examples whenever possible.

task achievement

To fully respond to the task, ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your essay should clearly answer why locals do not frequent museums and historical sites as well as propose concrete solutions.

task achievement

Develop clear, comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the task. Your essay shows potential, but you can enhance clarity by focusing more on the reasons behind the trend and on practical recommendations.

task achievement

Include relevant specific examples to illustrate your points, which will help you achieve a higher score. Examples should be detailed and directly tied to the arguments you are making.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Many museums and historical sites are mostly visited by foreign tourists, but not local people. Why do you think it happens? What can be done to attract local visitors to these sites?

As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. In the letter, you should: • Where you stayed • What the problems were • How they can fix your complaints

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?