Many museums and historical sites are mostly visited by foreign tourists, but not local people. Why do you think it happens? What can be done to attract local visitors to these sites?

Nowadays, the large groups of
people
visiting museums are dominantly from abroad.
This
essay provides my personal opinions of the background
why
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of why
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this
phenomenon happens.
In addition
, it
also
displays suggestions to overcome
this
problem.
Firstly
, I totally believe that
this
problem is caused by
lacking
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the lack
show examples
of local
peoples'
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people's
show examples
interest in visiting these historical sites. More and more local
people
are only fascinated to spend their
times
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time
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to
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apply
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somewhere where they value the most whilst foreign tourists opt to plan a trip to travel a country only to visit local
wisdoms
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wisdom
pearls of wisdom
show examples
.
For example
, these local majorities prefer to go to destinations
such
as festivals and natures (mountains or ocean) rather than art
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
or tribal festivals.
Therefore
, these sites are only visited by vast groups of foreigners.
Secondly
, I have several suggestions to overcome
this
unique case. I assume preserving the value of these places is highly needed. Local
people
can start these strategies in schools and teenagers.
Moreover
,
this
step will likely assist children to put more interest
to
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into
show examples
museums.
For instance
, Teachers can arrange a study tour or a benchmarking in these areas. Students may learn a plethora of information regarding arts and past heroes or heroines which are only provided in special areas like museums. In conclusion,
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
the reason behind
this
crutial
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crucial
critical
case is the less interest of society around
towards
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apply
show examples
local
wisdoms
Change the wording
wisdom
pearls of wisdom
show examples
people
can always have a chance to recover from
this
social dilemma.
Thus
, maintaining youth and elders is the perfect step to deal with
this
case.
Therefore
, a vast generation of locals will visit these sites more in the future.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that your essay has a more cohesive structure with clearer progression of ideas throughout. Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using a range of linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and effectively summarize the main points of your essay. The conclusion should concisely restate the thesis and main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are well-supported by specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. Avoid being too general; use specific and detailed examples whenever possible.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your essay should clearly answer why locals do not frequent museums and historical sites as well as propose concrete solutions.
task achievement
Develop clear, comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the task. Your essay shows potential, but you can enhance clarity by focusing more on the reasons behind the trend and on practical recommendations.
task achievement
Include relevant specific examples to illustrate your points, which will help you achieve a higher score. Examples should be detailed and directly tied to the arguments you are making.

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