Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is believed by some that the escalation of

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

is the best thing that can be done to improve public

health

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others deem that

this

Linking Words

would not have much impact on public

health

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

supports the latter view and believes that addressing

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem and free medical

care

Use synonyms

would help to improve public

health

Use synonyms

. Building more

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

in residential areas would encourage more people to follow their fitness regime. When they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have easy access to

sports

Use synonyms

centers, they would get more opportunities to get

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

physical

Change preposition

in physical

show examples

exercises, which

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

a results

show examples

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

, would benefit their physical and cognitive abilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, India which is a developing nation has built various

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

almost in every area, which inspired

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of individuals to take part in their favorite

sports

Use synonyms

activity.

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, believes that

this

Linking Words

would not help the people who are suffering from incurable diseases and need medical treatment. Providing free medical

care

Use synonyms

on the other hand

Linking Words

, can support public

health

Use synonyms

more.

One

Change preposition

For one

show examples

who is suffering from

deadly

Add an article

a deadly

show examples

disease

such

Linking Words

as cancer, and cannot afford the expensive treatment,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free medical

care

Use synonyms

can offer a great help in that situation, not sport

facilities

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, taking some important steps towards the pollution problem can help individuals

suffer

Wrong verb form

suffering

show examples

from respiratory problems

such

Linking Words

as asthma.

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, argues that public

health

Use synonyms

would

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

improve by focusing on some other significant issues rather than increasing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

would benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

to some extent,

this

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

believes that free medical

care

Use synonyms

and serious steps towards

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem can be more advantageous.

meghnabawa91Wed Oct 11 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are clear and well-developed.

lexical resource

Avoid using general statements and provide more specific information.

grammatical range accuracy

Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and well-structured.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear opinion and a proper conclusion. Make sure to provide a clearer stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

The dangers and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?