Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed by some that the escalation of

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

is the best thing that can be done to improve public

health

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others deem that

this

Linking Words

would not have much impact on public

health

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

supports the latter view and believes that addressing

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem and free medical

care

Use synonyms

would help to improve public

health

Use synonyms

. Building more

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

in residential areas would encourage more people to follow their fitness regime. When they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have easy access to

sports

Use synonyms

centers, they would get more opportunities to get

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

physical

Change preposition

in physical

show examples

exercises, which

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

a results

show examples

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

, would benefit their physical and cognitive abilities.

For instance

Linking Words

, India which is a developing nation has built various

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

almost in every area, which inspired

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of individuals to take part in their favorite

sports

Use synonyms

activity.

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, believes that

this

Linking Words

would not help the people who are suffering from incurable diseases and need medical treatment. Providing free medical

care

Use synonyms

on the other hand

Linking Words

, can support public

health

Use synonyms

more.

One

Change preposition

For one

show examples

who is suffering from

deadly

Add an article

a deadly

show examples

disease

such

Linking Words

as cancer, and cannot afford the expensive treatment,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free medical

care

Use synonyms

can offer a great help in that situation, not sport

facilities

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, taking some important steps towards the pollution problem can help individuals

suffer

Wrong verb form

suffering

show examples

from respiratory problems

such

Linking Words

as asthma.

This

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, argues that public

health

Use synonyms

would

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

improve by focusing on some other significant issues rather than increasing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

would benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

to some extent,

this

Linking Words

essay

Use synonyms

believes that free medical

care

Use synonyms

and serious steps towards

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem can be more advantageous.

meghnabawa91Wed Oct 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are clear and well-developed.

lexical resource

Avoid using general statements and provide more specific information.

grammatical range accuracy

Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and well-structured.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear opinion and a proper conclusion. Make sure to provide a clearer stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Globally, in many countries' schools, the school uniform is mandatory for every student. A school uniform is nothing but formal and unique attire or a dress code that is given by school management and followed by every child at that school.
6.5
band
Some people believe that children should spend all of their time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.
Many public recommends that youngsters spend more time with their parents and siblings, while others hold beliefs that this view could be negative to the children. I think it's essential to spend some quality time with the family which will provide a several benefit to them.
7
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the only way to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that increasing petroleum prices is the only measurement to decrease environmental issues. Although this can help reduce the problem, I strongly believe that there are many ways to tackle environmental issues such as educating people about habitat issues and applying regulations on individuals and companies.
6
band
University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Over recent years, more and more people have been attending university and arguments have persisted as to whether students should pay for this privilege not. Although there are convincing arguments on both sides, I strongly believe that it should be free.
7.5
band
It is appropriate and inappropriate at the same moment. I partially agree with this statement. Facebook provides both advantage and disadvantage to a user. Following reasons and examples will be discussed below.
It is appropriate and inappropriate at the same moment. I partially agree with this statement. the Internet provides both advantages and disadvantages to a user. The following reasons and examples will be discussed below.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that children should spend all of their time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Increasing the price of petrol is the only way to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree?

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

It is appropriate and inappropriate at the same moment. I partially agree with this statement. Facebook provides both advantage and disadvantage to a user. Following reasons and examples will be discussed below.