Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is believed by some that the escalation of

sports

facilities

is the best thing that can be done to improve public

health

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others deem that

this

would not have much impact on public

health

This

essay

supports the latter view and believes that addressing

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem and free medical

care

would help to improve public

health

. Building more

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

in residential areas would encourage more people to follow their fitness regime. When they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have easy access to

sports

centers, they would get more opportunities to get

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

physical

Change preposition

in physical

show examples

exercises, which

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

a results

show examples

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

, would benefit their physical and cognitive abilities.

For instance

, India which is a developing nation has built various

sports

facilities

almost in every area, which inspired

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of individuals to take part in their favorite

sports

activity.

This

essay

however

, believes that

this

would not help the people who are suffering from incurable diseases and need medical treatment. Providing free medical

care

on the other hand

, can support public

health

more.

One

Change preposition

For one

show examples

who is suffering from

deadly

Add an article

a deadly

show examples

disease

such

as cancer, and cannot afford the expensive treatment,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free medical

care

can offer a great help in that situation, not sport

facilities

Moreover

, taking some important steps towards the pollution problem can help individuals

suffer

Wrong verb form

suffering

show examples

from respiratory problems

such

as asthma.

This

essay

therefore

, argues that public

health

would

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

improve by focusing on some other significant issues rather than increasing

sports

facilities

. In conclusion,

although

sports

facilities

would benefit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

to some extent,

this

essay

believes that free medical

care

and serious steps towards

pollution

Correct article usage

the pollution

show examples

problem can be more advantageous.

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Wed Oct 11 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are clear and well-developed.

lexical resource

Avoid using general statements and provide more specific information.

grammatical range accuracy

Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and well-structured.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear opinion and a proper conclusion. Make sure to provide a clearer stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweighs the disadvantages? Give reasonsfor yours answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges related not only to the environment, but pollution and education as well. What problems your country will face in next years.

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree