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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
The given table provides information about the underground railway systems (date opened, kilometres of
route
, and
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 per year) in six different cities (London, Paris,
Tokyo
, Washington DC,
Kyoto
, and
Los
Angeles
).
Overall
,
Tokyo
 and Paris had more than 1,000 numbers of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
,
while
 London, Washington DC,
Los
Angeles
, and
Kyoto
 had fewer than 1,000
passengers
. Interestingly,
Los
Angeles
 was the only city that opened in the 2000-year.
To begin
 with,
Tokyo
 had the highest passenger number in 1927
passengers
 which began to operate in 1900 and had 155
kilometers
 of
route
. Paris, which opened 27 years earlier than
Tokyo
 (1990) had 1191
passengers
 in 199 Kilometer of
route
.
Next,
London, which opened in 1863 was 394
kilometers
 long,
had
Correct word choice
and had
show examples
 775 customers.
Then
 100 years later, Washington DC started to operate in 1976 at 144
passengers
 in 126
kilometers
 of
route
.
Moreover
, in the latest year,
Kyoto
 and
Los
Angeles
 had the lowest number of
passengers
 per year at 45 and 50 respectively.
Additionally
, the oldest cities are the higher
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 they had, excluding
Kyoto
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words route, tokyo, kyoto, los, angeles, passengers, kilometers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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