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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table provides information about the underground railway systems (date opened, kilometres of
route
Use synonyms
, and
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
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 per year) in six different cities (London, Paris,
Tokyo
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, Washington DC,
Kyoto
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, and
Los
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Angeles
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
,
Tokyo
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 and Paris had more than 1,000 numbers of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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,
while
Linking Words
 London, Washington DC,
Los
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Angeles
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, and
Kyoto
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 had fewer than 1,000
passengers
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. Interestingly,
Los
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Angeles
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 was the only city that opened in the 2000-year.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Tokyo
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 had the highest passenger number in 1927
passengers
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 which began to operate in 1900 and had 155
kilometers
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 of
route
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. Paris, which opened 27 years earlier than
Tokyo
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 (1990) had 1191
passengers
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 in 199 Kilometer of
route
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.
Next,
Linking Words
London, which opened in 1863 was 394
kilometers
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 long,
had
Correct word choice
and had
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 775 customers.
Then
Linking Words
 100 years later, Washington DC started to operate in 1976 at 144
passengers
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 in 126
kilometers
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 of
route
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the latest year,
Kyoto
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 and
Los
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Angeles
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 had the lowest number of
passengers
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 per year at 45 and 50 respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the oldest cities are the higher
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
route
Add an article
the route
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 they had, excluding
Kyoto
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words route, tokyo, kyoto, los, angeles, passengers, kilometers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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