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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions
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It is true that
education
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 has an indispensable role to play in contemporary society. Some people
harbor
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harbour
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 a belief that the goal of
education
Use synonyms
 is to foster social welfare,
while
Linking Words
 others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, it is a controversial issue that deserves an in-depth discussion. On the one hand, the main argument in its
favor
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favour
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 is that
education
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 has extensive influence in enhancing
society
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society's
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 situation and advancement of the country.
Also
Linking Words
, modern
education
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 tends to focus on professional knowledge, which can contribute to huge economic capabilities.
For instance
Linking Words
, a knowledge-based economy is the most important economic development for Taiwan,
such
Linking Words
 as technicians and engineers, which account for 38% of GDP.
As a result
Linking Words
, learning can prepare individuals for specialized professions that directly benefit society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe another purpose of
education
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 is as a means to achieve personal ambitions, it allows individuals to explore their potential and talents which can prepare for their future.
For example
Linking Words
, the Taiwan government is promoting adaptive
education
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 nowadays, which emphasizes personal development,
instead
Linking Words
 of the aim of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional study as preparation for social contribution.
Also
Linking Words
, the Ministry of the Interior in Taiwan announced that the aim of
education
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 is to develop one's skills, knowledge and attitude. These indicate that
education
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is not only focus
Change the verb form
is not only focused
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 on social development,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
but also
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, provides opportunities for personal growth. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 it can be argued that
education
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 has to contribute to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, I support the view that the aim of
education
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 is to achieve personal potential.
Submitted by 21280370.mao on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your supporting points and provide more examples to fully develop your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provides supporting evidence or examples.
lexical resource
Use more formal and academic language for a more appropriate tone in an IELTS essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
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