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Band 5.5

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions
It is true that
education
 has an indispensable role to play in contemporary society. Some people
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 a belief that the goal of
education
 is to foster social welfare,
while
 others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, it is a controversial issue that deserves an in-depth discussion. On the one hand, the main argument in its
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 is that
education
 has extensive influence in enhancing
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 situation and advancement of the country.
Also
, modern
education
 tends to focus on professional knowledge, which can contribute to huge economic capabilities.
For instance
, a knowledge-based economy is the most important economic development for Taiwan,
such
 as technicians and engineers, which account for 38% of GDP.
As a result
, learning can prepare individuals for specialized professions that directly benefit society.
On the other hand
, some believe another purpose of
education
 is as a means to achieve personal ambitions, it allows individuals to explore their potential and talents which can prepare for their future.
For example
, the Taiwan government is promoting adaptive
education
 nowadays, which emphasizes personal development,
instead
 of the aim of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional study as preparation for social contribution.
Also
, the Ministry of the Interior in Taiwan announced that the aim of
education
 is to develop one's skills, knowledge and attitude. These indicate that
education
is not only focus
Change the verb form
is not only focused
show examples
 on social development,
also
Correct word choice
but also
show examples
, provides opportunities for personal growth. In summary,
while
 it can be argued that
education
 has to contribute to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, I support the view that the aim of
education
 is to achieve personal potential.
Submitted by 21280370.mao on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your supporting points and provide more examples to fully develop your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provides supporting evidence or examples.
lexical resource
Use more formal and academic language for a more appropriate tone in an IELTS essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
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