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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the numbers of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in 5 Australian for last year The ple chart below shows percentages of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in the same 5 Australian

The table below shows the numbers of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in 5 Australian for last year The ple chart below shows percentages of same day and overnight stays in public and private hospitals in the same 5 Australian
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The table provides the number of similar day and overnight stays in urban and secret hospitals in 5 Australian states for
last
Linking Words
 year, with the pie chart which percentages of same day and through
a
Correct article usage
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night remains in individual and private medical centres. It is clear from the pie chart that mutual clinics including the overnight and same day
is
Unnecessary verb
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rated as a popular area among the majority of all destinations with a massive 30 per cent. As can be seen from the table, the total civic hospitals had a large number of people in all states in comparison with personal medical centres.
For example
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
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New South Wales the majority
5816
Change preposition
of 5816
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 of those on civil general
whereas
Linking Words
 private general with about two thousand pupils.
By contrast
Linking Words
, if we are looking at the common and intimate psychiatric clinic areas we witness that
the
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all states had a tiny minority of clients. Meanwhile, the general destinations of both groups were at the top respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 72%.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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