Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

A
lot
of young people choose to spend their
time
one year after
graduate
Change the verb form
graduating
show examples
from high school to work or
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
before enrolling in university. The experience that they will get by doing these will be beneficial before returning to education. I totally agree with
this
as working and experiencing different cultures can help youngsters to find their
passion
and to understand themselves deeper which would help them in dealing with
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
life.
Passion
is a crucial thing as it guides
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
in choosing their major. A
lot
of youths are struggling
in choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
their field of study because they have not discovered their true passions.
This
could happen because the
time
they have in school is not enough to experience a
lot
of things. Taking a one-year break to do paid jobs or
travelling
Replace the word
travel
show examples
will help students to find their
passion
because
passion
can be found by experiencing many things and meeting new
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For instance
, if someone
experience
Change the verb form
experiences
show examples
working
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
in different companies with different responsibility, he/she can figure out which job he/she
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to do in the future and what should be studied in university to get that job.
On the other hand
, working and travelling will help
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to have better self-understand. It is because people learn a
lot
about
our self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
when
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
face new
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
and try to figure out new things.
For example
, when planning
for travelling
Change preposition
to travel
show examples
to a different country, some people tend to arrange everything as early as possible and some
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
overnight
Add an article
the overnight
an overnight
show examples
plan.
This
type of self-understanding will help
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
when dealing with a
lot
of
challenge
Change the form of the verb
challenges
show examples
that they will have in university. In conclusion, taking a one-year gap is not a waste of
time
if it is used for doing paid work or travelling as it could lead to finding
passion
and self-understanding.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop your ideas more and provide more detailed examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to express your ideas more precisely.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Avoid repetitive phrasing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: