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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#electricity #power #station #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph below depicts the process of generating electricity in a hydroelectric energy station by using
water
Use synonyms
 resources.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
data
Add a comma
data,
show examples
 the process of generating electricity
power
Use synonyms
 starts by conducting
water
Use synonyms
 flow towards turbines.
Then
Linking Words
 the turbines under
water
Use synonyms
 pressure start to turn and run the generator.
Finally
Linking Words
, the produced energy in
Use synonyms
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
 station is transferred to the national grid.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as
waster
Correct your spelling
water
show examples
 is the most crucial element in generating hydroelectric energy, river
water
Use synonyms
 flows toward a
reservoir
Use synonyms
 at a dam which has been placed at a high elevation. During the day the intake is opened, and fluid
descended
Wrong verb form
descends
show examples
 toward the
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
 with the help of reversible turbines, which,
operates
Correct subject-verb agreement
operate
show examples
 the generator.
However
Linking Words
, During the night the mechanism operates in the opposite direction.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 the fluid from
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 elevated
reservoir
Use synonyms
 is pumped toward the upper
reservoir
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 circular process operates during days and nights.
Finally
Linking Words
, the generated
power
Use synonyms
 is transferred to
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 grid by
power
Use synonyms
 lines.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, power, reservoir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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