There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Nowadays, there are various genres of

music

and its importance for the human race has been widely acknowledged.

This

essay will elucidate the underlying reasons why the existence of

music

is essential in our lives.

Additionally

, it will discuss whether a country's traditional

music

holds a more important position than international

music

and why I disagree with the statement.

Music

has played a pivotal role in influencing the life of our society regardless of where we live. Historically, humans have used

music

as a form of art and expression.

For instance

, the Arabs developed percussions as their traditional musical instruments to show their identity as a nation that upheld vigour ways of life. Nowadays, people listen to

music

for various reasons,

such

as relaxing and as a means to light up their moods.

Music

can even be economically profitable for many people as they can earn money by making

music

This

shows how

music

has been essential for our identity, well-being, and even our economic sustainability. Despite the universal acceptance of the significance of

music

, there is still a debate about whether traditional

music

is more important than international

music

This

contention stems from the fact that international

music

gains more popularity which eventually threatens the existence of traditional

music

However

, I strongly believe that all genre of

music

is equal, nothing is better or more significant than others. Choosing which

music

to listen to is a manifestation of individual taste. The deterioration of people's interest in traditional

music

should be seen as an inevitable development of our culture,

instead

of a threat. In conclusion,

music

has been an essential element in humans' lives as shown by the positive impacts that it brings in our society.

However

, it should be noted that all

music

genres are equally important to be preserved.

Submitted by tnindrasetiawan on Wed Oct 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are adequately presented. However, consider providing more solid transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The response to the task is complete and the ideas are clear and comprehensive. Well-supported main points and relevant examples have been provided. Make sure to address the traditional music vs international music argument in more depth to fully respond to the task question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You have just spent a weekend at a friend's house. When you returned home, you discovered that you had left a coat there. There are some important belongings in the pockets. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain that you have left the coat there say what the coat looks like, where you think you left it and what was in the pockets make some suggestions about how to get all of your belongings back
I hope this letter finds you healthy and wealthy. I'm writing about my coat which I left at your home last night.
6
band
2.You recently discovered that there are plans to build a new airport in your area and you are not happy with it. Write a letter to the local authority. In your letter, oSay how you found out about the plans oExplain what problems your neighbourhood will face oSuggest some possible solutions to those problems.
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with your plan which is to build a new airport in our neighborhood.
6.5
band
In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages?
Teenager working has become a trend nowadays. Therefore, teenagers are persuaded in a few locations, to secure part-time jobs, even if they did not complete their schooling yet. This essay will discuss both, the merits and the demerits of this trend. However, its advantages are more as compared to its disadvantages.
5
band
You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking • ask about booking a different course
I hope you are doing great. My name is Lovejit Singh, and a student in the Project Management course at your college. I am writing this letter to let you know that I booked a part-time course in electronics for the summer session which I want to change because of some reasons.
8.5
band
Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?
The accidents that occur on the road is one of the dangerous views. Unfortunately, it is claimed that people can not totally get rid of them. However, society has to think over the ways to decrease the number of unpleasant situations caused by cars. Personally, I think no need to pass over five years of driving tests. Now, I will prove my opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages?

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking • ask about booking a different course

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?