most people have forgotten the meaning behind a traditional religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is true that the main reason for habitual
festivals
is forgotten and that
people
attend these ceremonies for more recreational purposes.
While
I agree that it has become more common to have fun during
festivals
, I believe that there are still some commitments to traditions that lead to
peopl's
Correct your spelling
people's
appearance. On the one hand, I think,
festivals
have their roots in the past when
people
had to arrange them to protect their lives or even be safe from religious punishments
although
they may not have that much seriousness for today's generation.
For example
, in some traditional tribes, members had to present a symbolic prayer for god in the spring to offer their admiration
as well as
respect and
therefore
guarantee the survival of their lands and cultivation in the following year,
otherwise
they might lose yields. In comparison, nowadays
people
have no need for
such
a festival to protect their lives.
On the other hand
, despite considering
festivals
as ways of enjoyment,
people
are still participating to celebrate annual traditions to confirm
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whatever their ancestors believe. Take mourning as an instance, modernized
people
may not mourn as deeply as their old generation did for an old well-known person or they may even see it as a recreative event, but they
also
show their respect and give importance to its religious aspects by gathering and doing symbolic mourning. By doing
this
, they not only protect traditions and customs from being vanished but
also
promote them to be in the minds of future ones. In conclusion,
although
the main aspects of presenting
festivals
may become vivid and
people
have fun during the festival period, there are still firm beliefs about them in their minds.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Provide clearer examples and expand on the points made to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure logical flow of ideas throughout the essay, and consider using transitional phrases to connect the ideas more effectively.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!