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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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The
food
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 industry has been developing for centuries.Various manufactured
food
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 and drink goods comprise high levels of
sugar
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, which results in health issues among people who consume them. A
diet
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 which is high in
sugar
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 content contributes to a lack of productivity among employees and causes chronic illnesses,
such
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 as diabetes, cancer, and obesity. The government should be accountable for the population’s well-being and increase the prices of manufactured products.
According to
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 statistics, chronic illnesses have skyrocketed in the past three decades. Scientists have evaluated that a daily
diet
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, which is rich in saturated
sugar
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, contributes to the majority of diseases present today,
such
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 as cancer, obesity, and diabetes. One in three adults is admitted as obese in the United States,
according to
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 the New York Times.Cancer patients’ life length is cut by approximately 25%
due to
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 the manufactured
food
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 they consume every day. Diabetic people are said to not consume
such
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food
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.
However
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, the majority of them claimed that they got them because they were affordable and cheap. Lots of businesses have been failing in the past decades. Workers are not doing as productive work as they used to. The issue is behind their
diet
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.Humans are busy nowadays and unable to cook homemade
food
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. They eat out frequently in cheap cafes that offer fast
food
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 high in
sugar
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 and fat content. Medical experts have come to the conclusion that a
diet
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 high in
sugar
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 increases dopamine levels which results in a lack of concentration and an inability to perform well at the office. Governments should be responsible for the production of manufactured
food
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 and try to increase the prices so that humans will not be able to afford them.
To sum up
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, I completely agree with increasing the prices of the goods, because 99% of people have access to them. Consumption of these foods results in poor health and a lack of productivity at work.
Submitted by hrushik2006 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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