Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reality #tool #interventions #health #treatments

The increase

Change preposition

show examples

technology development has

give

Change the verb form

given

show examples

us the opportunity

of using

Change preposition

to use

show examples

new tools in order to replace human

work

, some of these applications include medicine like therapeutic interventions and mental health treatment.

However

, though implementing technology

such

as virtual reality can help us to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work

easier and faster, I think that

this

is not always

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

Firstly

, there is some

work

that

people

do every day that can be easily replaced by some

machines

. I agree with

this

only if the

work

is tedious and hard for humans, so

then

they won't have to do it. In some factories especially the ones dedicated to

construct

Change the verb form

constructing

show examples

things like cars

for example

Tesla most of the

work

is done by

machines

because is faster,

while

people

only have to supervise them and make sure everything is in order. In these cases, the

machines

takes

Change the verb form

take

show examples

all the hard

work

so that

people

won't have to do it, it is beneficial for both companies and society.

On the other hand

, there are some

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of jobs that can not be replaced easily by technologies

such

as virtual reality because, in my opinion, it's better for a human to do it. These

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of works include the ones that can put in risk

people

's lives,

for example

, everything related

with

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show examples

medical procedures

sucha

Correct your spelling

such

as brain surgeries or something less complicated like therapy. I don't believe technology is advanced enough to replace

instantly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

these jobs,

besides

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I think

human

Correct article usage

the human

show examples

touch is always necessary to going through these medical

process

Fix the agreement mistake

processes

show examples

and they can be more careful and aware of their commitment

with

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the

pacient's

Correct your spelling

patient's

life. Nowadays some

work

made

Verb problem

done

show examples

by humans has been replaced

for

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show examples

machines

, but I think

this

is only

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

anyone's life is put

Change preposition

show examples

risk. Even though

machines

can get into the medical field, these should only be used as a tool for help

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

not to replace the doctor's

work

completely.

Submitted by dannie.sanval on Wed Oct 11 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt in your response.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a clearer and more concise introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Today, more and more people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some effects of rural recession and the cause of this

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The money spent by governments on space programmers would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?