IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of tertiary education has been widely debated in recent years. Some assert that scholars consider only
one
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 subject as their focal point,
while
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 others argue that they should recognise the number of other subjects. In my opinion, I strongly believe that being more expert in
one
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 field, and acquiring knowledge about another range of study, are equally important. The following factors highlight why my perspective is valid and should be considered. On the
one
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 hand, the compelling reason is becoming more expert in
one
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 field of study.
This
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 is because the majority of students want to pursue higher degrees in that particular field and be specialised in that area, which enhances their thorough understanding of the subject.
For instance
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, more than half of the scholars in Australia enrol only in
one
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 subject to get more success and deeper knowledge of the
one
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 unit.
Consequently
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, they get a wider scope for studying the different aspects of
one
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 area of study.
On the other hand
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, there are a series of other units which students should
also
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 consider. As all the subjects are interconnected to each other. A good example is, if an aspirant is studying biology, they must know other areas of learning,
such
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 as chemistry and physics, as these are interrelated and various aspects of these two units contribute to biology for getting comprehensive recognition of the science.
Hence
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, students must have an idea about the areas of geography, science and law, which are imperative for knowing about the world.
To conclude
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, the impact of studying
one
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 area of
further
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 education,
along with
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 studying a variety of subjects, for knowing about the different aspects of life, proves that they are beneficial.
Thus
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, recognising their actions and impact is justified, emphasising the need to acknowledge
this
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 view.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion present your main ideas well, but could be more explicitly linked to your argument. Strengthening these sections can provide clearer insights into your position.
task achievement
Consider developing your main points with more specific examples. This can enhance the clarity of your argument and strengthen your overall task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each point you make directly supports your thesis statement. Some points appear to stray slightly from the main argument, so maintaining focus will improve clarity.
task achievement
Your ability to present both sides of the argument is commendable and adds depth to your essay. This demonstrates your understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The use of specific examples in your paragraphs effectively illustrates your points and adds context to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded individuals
  • adapt to a changing job market
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • diverse fields
  • creativity and innovation
  • multiple domains
  • broader perspective
  • enhance employability
  • cultural awareness
  • social responsibility
  • informed global citizens
  • specializing
  • deeper knowledge and expertise
  • highly technical fields
  • balanced curriculum
  • reduce burnout
  • increase student engagement
  • monotony
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