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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

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Introduction
It is widely believed that longer working
hours
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 have a significant impact on mental well-being. Many
employees
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 experience greater stress because of financial pressures and heavy workloads.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reasons behind
this
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 issue and suggest ways
employers
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 can help reduce it.
Body paragraph 1
One primary reason is that some people need additional income to cover their living expenses.
For example
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, individuals may need to pay their siblings' university tuition, but their salaries may not be sufficient to cover these costs.
As a result
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, they may take part-time jobs,
such
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 as working as cashiers or waiters
after
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, after
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 completing their main jobs.
Consequently
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, they have to spend their free time working
instead
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 of resting. Another major factor is the heavy workload imposed by companies. Some
employers
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 assign a large number of tasks within
limited
Add an article
a limited
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 time, forcing
employees
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 to work longer
hours
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.
This
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 can leave workers feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.
Body paragraph 2
There are several ways
employers
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 can address
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, companies should offer flexible working arrangements to
employees
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 who have additional jobs.
For instance
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, allowing flexible schedules can help workers manage their responsibilities without sacrificing their rest time.
Secondly
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,
employers
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 should assign tasks
according to
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employees
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' capacity and set reasonable limits on working
hours
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. They should
also
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 provide sufficient breaks to prevent exhaustion. These measures can promote a healthier work-life balance, allowing
employees
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 to feel more satisfied
while
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 remaining productive.
Conclusion
In conclusion, financial difficulties and excessive workloads are two major reasons why people work longer
hours
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 and experience stress.
However
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, flexible working arrangements and reasonable workloads can help
employers
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 improve their
employees
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' well-being.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your ideas more full, add one more reason, such as high house costs or too few staff at work.
task response
Your points are clear, but explain more how each employer action will cut stress. For example, say that fair pay may mean workers do not need a second job.
task response
Your examples fit the topic. The example about paying for a brother or sister’s school is clear, but it is quite narrow. You could also give an example about rent, food, or child care.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. Keep this plan, as it makes the answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is good: reasons first, then ways to help. In the second body part, link each way more closely to a reason from the first body part.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Secondly”. Try not to start too many sentences with these words; you can also join ideas in one smooth sentence.
task response
You give two clear reasons: money needs and too much work. You also give two useful actions that employers can take.
task response
The essay stays on the main question. The ideas about flexible work, fair task levels, and breaks are useful and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear job, and the reader can follow your ideas without effort.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph sums up the main ideas well and gives the essay a clear ending.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job market
  • higher expectations
  • pressure
  • constant connectivity
  • economic instability
  • work-life balance
  • demanding job roles
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • flexible working hours
  • wellness programs
  • stress management
  • mental health support
  • regular breaks
  • vacation time
  • burnout
  • positive work environment
  • team-building activities
  • open communication
  • career development
  • skill enhancement
  • employee morale
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