Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women

In most rustics, it is mandatory for young adults to join the military forces once they finish their secondary education. It is considered to be beneficial for both sexes in all the nations worldwide. In my view, it has both positive

as well as

negative impacts on people's lives

as well as

on the economy. I will argue about

this

in my essay below.

To begin

with, many countries made

this

obligatory for the young generation to choose the

army

as their profession.

Although

it is a good choice for them. They learn to maintain discipline and become strong enough to face any challenge with courage.

Moreover

, it helps them to enhance their personality which in turn boosts their confidence level.

Furthermore

, making it compulsory to join these services

also

has a negative effect on their mental

as well as

physical health.

Everyone

wants to chase their own dreams, some want to become doctors, engineers, and businesses not

everyone

wants to become an

army

officer. So, it is against their desire they show the least interest

hence

instead

of producing cream they are generating patients. Their mind will always stuck in the field of their own choice

hence

making them confused and least interested.

On the other hand

, badly affects the economy of the nations

due to

these rules if

everyone

joins the

army

what happens to other

sectors

? Like businesses, health

sectors

, and education

sectors

their quality automatically decreased because their whole focus is on one side

that is

toward

army

forces. In conclusion, it is beneficial for some people but not all, it is important to maintain balance between all

sectors

Therefore

, making

this

essential for young ones is not advantageous for

everyone

hence

, it is better for youth to select a career of their own choice and make their names in that sector.

Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on Wed Oct 11 2023

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Organize your essay more logically. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that your main points are supported with relevant details.

grammatical range accuracy

Watch your grammar and sentence structure. Make sure to use proper punctuation and verb tenses.

lexical resource

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is more effective for student to study in groups, while other believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

According to observations, some animal species have become extinct or endangered in recent decades.What are reasons behind this tendency?What effects it may have on ecosystem in general?

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?