IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #study #business #history
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In today's rapidly evolving world, the question of whether more individuals should study
business
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 or
history
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 for the betterment of
society
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 has become a subject of debate.
While
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 some argue that studying
business
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 holds more benefits for
society
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, others contend that a well-rounded
education
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 in
history
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 is equally crucial.
This
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 essay will explore the advantages of both fields of study and argue that a balanced approach is necessary. Studying
business
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 offers tangible benefits to
society
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.
Business
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education
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 equips individuals with the skills and knowledge needed to drive economic growth and innovation. Entrepreneurs and
business
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 leaders play a pivotal role in creating job opportunities, fostering technological advancements, and enhancing the
overall
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 prosperity of a nation.
Therefore
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, an emphasis on
business
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education
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 can contribute significantly to a nation's economic development.
On the other hand
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,
history
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 is equally important for several reasons.
History
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 provides insights into the mistakes and achievements of the past, enabling us to make informed decisions and avoid repeating past errors.
Moreover
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, it helps us understand the social, cultural, and political context in which we live, fostering tolerance and empathy. Without a grasp of
history
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, societies risk losing their cultural heritage and understanding of the world's complexities. In conclusion, it is not a matter of choosing between
business
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 and
history
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 but rather striking a balance. A
society
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 needs individuals educated in both fields to thrive.
Business
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education
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 drives economic progress,
while
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 a deep understanding of
history
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 ensures that progress is made wisely and with a profound appreciation of our shared human experience.
Therefore
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, it is imperative that educational systems encourage students to explore both
business
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 and
history
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, ensuring a well-rounded and prosperous
society
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.
Submitted by manpreetkaur26896 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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