The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The given chart compares four criteria namely number of businesses, profit, sales revenue and growth between Australia physical
stores
and Internet-based
stores
in 2011.
Overall
, it can obviously be seen that
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all the figures for e-shops were higher than those for department
stores
. The rates of general growth of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
types of
stores
were approximately equivalent The number of businesses
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
stores
was 368, nearly five times higher than the figure for outlets with 67.
Although
there was a huge gap between the number of businesses, the profit of both did not have much difference, with 807
AUD
for offline
stores
and 863
AUD
for online ones. It can be concluded that the physical
stores
had higher efficiency compared with the online boutiques. In 2011, the former earned 12700
AUD
dollars
while
the latter yielded 13400
AUD
dollars, not too much difference.
Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words stores, aud with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

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